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Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

How do I conquer fear?
Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a j...

Step 51- What does it take for you to understand what it’s all about?
I just finished Tim Ferriss’ book, “Tribe of Mentors,” and one of the people featured in his book is a woman named Turia Pitt. I haven’t looked up every p...

Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finall...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
  In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, since I didn’t know what people would think, ...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
  I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yo...

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?

added: 2017-11-24 , category: Transform Yourself

My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every time I finish his class (once or twice a week), I keep thinking about this sentence. It’s a very important question. What do you do when you fail? It’s good when we keep the ball rolling, when we’re hyped, when everything is going according to our plan – everything seems so easy then. But what happens when you have this bad day when nothing goes according to your plan? You wanted to work out, eat healthy, send some resumes, complete a few tasks that you keep postponing and… you didn’t do any of that. Instead, you spent a lot of time on social media, eating crap and thinking about your ex-boyfriend (“maybe we should be together, after all?”).  And you did the same thing the next day, and the next day. And you start feeling like a failure. And that’s the worst state you can put yourself into. Once you get yourself in the state like that for a few days (or weeks!), it’s really difficult to get out of it. So what do you do then…?

I get into this state, too (not that often, but it still happens) and I noticed that there are two things that always work for me. One of them is seeing a friend. Not a friend who will start complaining or whining with you – I don’t like friends like that, I don’t need friends like that. Instead, I mean seeing a friend who will put things in a perspective for you. Who will be able to lift you up. Who will listen and give you a decent advice, who will make you feel better about yourself. Friends are always the best remedy. That’s why I find friendships so crucial to one’s life; you have to really take care of them, regardless of your relationship status.

The second thing I do is going out among people. That’s why I love living in NY, because (if you want to), you can be always surrounded with people. Somehow people’s energy and their noise helps me. It distracts my mind from stupid things and puts it back into a right place. Plus, when I’m surrounded with people, there is always something interesting happening. Only yesterday I was in this weird state and I just went to a coffee shop to write and two girls came with a dog (I don’t know why the dog was there, since it’s not allowed, but maybe they had some kind of “service dog” badge that you can easily buy here). Since I was sitting on a couch, the dog jumped next to me and was cuddling with my sweater. Those who know me know that there is nothing else in this world that I love more than dogs. And it just made me happy. A small thing like that can put you in a different state right away.

What also always works for me is a good workout. It changes my thinking and it gives me this extra strength. I’m a huge believer that your body can change your mind. As Tony Robbins says: Motion creates emotion.

Find your way of escaping this miserable state. As soon as it happens to you, do all you have to do to change it. Don’t stay there. I know it’s an easy way out, but don’t do it. I know you really prefer to stay there (I know you do!), but it will just not help you. It will just make things worse. Stay there for a day or two if you have to, but then just take some action to change it. Find you outlet, find things that help you change your reality. Because when reality hits you hard, you have to know how to defend yourself. You can win this battle. You just have to gather your tools and fight for it. Whatever you do - don’t give up upon yourself.

 

 

 

 



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