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justlikeny@gmail.com

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It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Double Standard – Why Are Women Treated Differently?
I had a situation that I wrote about on Facebook, but I want to write more about it, because there is more to it.  So there was a guy, a customer of mine who I had met maybe three times, who&n...

Why Having a Boyfriend Will Not Make You Happy?
When I was a teenage girl (that is one week ago… just kidding), my biggest dream was to have a boyfriend. Especially since a weekly column called “Love Story” from “Bravo&r...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?
What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that ...

Men and Sex
What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (c...

The Most Annoying American Family
I must say, I’m so fed up with these fake images and fake lives that are all over social media now. And there is one family that makes me especially angry. You’ve p...

Step 53 - Do You Have A Choice?
I believe I have already written about what I am about to say in this post, but I’ll be coming back to the subject, because it’s really important. I notice more and more often that we ge...

Step 47 - Mindset is everything

added: 2017-11-02 , category: Transform Yourself


photo by Janusz Tomczyk www.wdkproductions.com

People think that if they get more things, their situation will change. More money, more opportunities, more education, more time, more contacts. And it’s true only to an extent. There is something more powerful, and the moment you realize that, your life will start heading in a different direction. 


It’s all about your mindset. Mindset is everything. If you don’t believe that you’ll get where you want to go or that you can get what you want to – nothing will help you. Even if someone gives you the time you wanted, the contacts you wanted, the money you wanted – ABSOLUTELY nothing will change, because you didn’t put your mind in the right place. 


I know it’s true, because I watch myself carefully. I keep saying – if I had this apartment, this body, this money, more time, I would DEFINITELY do what I was planning on doing. And I got all those things and did my situation change? No. The only thing that changed is that now I have a new list of “what I need to have to get where I want to.” It’s bullshit. But luckily, I can already call myself on my own bullshit. I caught myself doing that again the other day and I thought – that’s it, I can’t do this anymore. I keep saying that I’m allergic to bullshit, yet I create it myself. I decided to sit down this week and make a clear plan, because if you don’t have a detailed plan, your goals will still be just dreams, not actual plans that you can accomplish. 


I’ve met a lot of people in NY already; they’re from different countries, different backgrounds, with different careers and with different amounts of money. And believe me, it’s not about where you come from. I look at everything as an immigrant - there is no other way that I can look at things. I’m an immigrant and that will always be my perspective here. If you think that American people think that they can do anything because that’s “the American dream”, you’re wrong. Most Americans I meet are not confident at all, and it doesn’t matter that they were born here and grew up in this environment. Some of them “reach for the stars,” of course, but the majority do not. Because they didn’t grow up believing in themselves, they’re just as afraid as us immigrants. 


 

It really comes down to the issue of what you believe in. Not what your conditions are right now. Conditions can change, and so can your belief system. To start changing it, you would have to start with what I wrote about on Just Like NY already – with believing that you’re enough. And then there are the next steps – deciding what it is you truly want, making a plan and then executing it. It might take a while for you to clarify what it is that you really want to do, but giving up at the beginning is not the solution at all. When I ask people what their plan is, they say right away, “I want ‘X’ but it will be hard, there is just too much competition”, or “I want ‘X’ and I’m almost there, but I’m not ready yet, give me some time.” (I’m guilty of the second one myself.) Giving yourself too much time is not a great idea, either. Sit down and think, and make a list of things that make you happy. Close your eyes and visualize a job that would put a smile on your face. Imagine yourself waking up on Monday morning and going to work – what is that “dream job” in your case? (I have a few jobs on my mind, and one of them is taking care of pandas.) Then sit down and think what steps would get you there.



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