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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Step 47 - Mindset is everything

added: 2017-11-02 , category: Transform Yourself

photo by Janusz Tomczyk www.wdkproductions.com

People think that if they get more things, their situation will change. More money, more opportunities, more education, more time, more contacts. And it’s true only to an extent. There is something more powerful, and the moment you realize that, your life will start heading in a different direction. 

It’s all about your mindset. Mindset is everything. If you don’t believe that you’ll get where you want to go or that you can get what you want to – nothing will help you. Even if someone gives you the time you wanted, the contacts you wanted, the money you wanted – ABSOLUTELY nothing will change, because you didn’t put your mind in the right place. 

I know it’s true, because I watch myself carefully. I keep saying – if I had this apartment, this body, this money, more time, I would DEFINITELY do what I was planning on doing. And I got all those things and did my situation change? No. The only thing that changed is that now I have a new list of “what I need to have to get where I want to.” It’s bullshit. But luckily, I can already call myself on my own bullshit. I caught myself doing that again the other day and I thought – that’s it, I can’t do this anymore. I keep saying that I’m allergic to bullshit, yet I create it myself. I decided to sit down this week and make a clear plan, because if you don’t have a detailed plan, your goals will still be just dreams, not actual plans that you can accomplish. 

I’ve met a lot of people in NY already; they’re from different countries, different backgrounds, with different careers and with different amounts of money. And believe me, it’s not about where you come from. I look at everything as an immigrant - there is no other way that I can look at things. I’m an immigrant and that will always be my perspective here. If you think that American people think that they can do anything because that’s “the American dream”, you’re wrong. Most Americans I meet are not confident at all, and it doesn’t matter that they were born here and grew up in this environment. Some of them “reach for the stars,” of course, but the majority do not. Because they didn’t grow up believing in themselves, they’re just as afraid as us immigrants. 


It really comes down to the issue of what you believe in. Not what your conditions are right now. Conditions can change, and so can your belief system. To start changing it, you would have to start with what I wrote about on Just Like NY already – with believing that you’re enough. And then there are the next steps – deciding what it is you truly want, making a plan and then executing it. It might take a while for you to clarify what it is that you really want to do, but giving up at the beginning is not the solution at all. When I ask people what their plan is, they say right away, “I want ‘X’ but it will be hard, there is just too much competition”, or “I want ‘X’ and I’m almost there, but I’m not ready yet, give me some time.” (I’m guilty of the second one myself.) Giving yourself too much time is not a great idea, either. Sit down and think, and make a list of things that make you happy. Close your eyes and visualize a job that would put a smile on your face. Imagine yourself waking up on Monday morning and going to work – what is that “dream job” in your case? (I have a few jobs on my mind, and one of them is taking care of pandas.) Then sit down and think what steps would get you there.

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