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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 46 – Be patient

added: 2017-10-24 , category: Transform Yourself

If someone asked me to choose only one thing as my most valuable lesson NY taught me, it would have to be – being patient. I’m so happy I finally learned this very difficult (for me) skill.


I’ve always had problems with this. I’ve always been very impatient. I couldn’t wait a minute, I had to have it now, right away. It took me many years and many painful lessons to finally understand one crucial thing – I don’t have to get everything I want right away. You don’t have to get everything right away, either. 


There is a reason why you’re supposed to wait for certain things. There is a reason why it has to be a process sometimes. I understand that we’re living in a world of fast solutions, where everything is instant and it’s delivered at practically the very moment we ask for it. But it happens that life doesn’t work like way. You can’t constantly get what you want, just because you want it. I want many things, but I realized that I have to wait for them. I don’t think I deserve them right now. If I got them, just because I have this desire to have them, I wouldn’t appreciate them. Think about it. Aren’t you prouder of things that you accomplished after you put in a lot of work? What do you value most? A trip, a car, books,  a laptop, a camera that you saved money for and that you had to work your ass off for, or the same things that were just given to you? 


I’ve mentioned on Just Like NY already that I started learning to surf (and yes, I saved money for that myself and sacrificed a few things to get it – like living by myself) and that it was teaching me patience, too. Surfing has shown me that just because you think you’re able to surf by yourself, just because you bought a wetsuit and a board and you have time on Saturday morning, it doesn’t mean you’ll be surfing that day. Yes, you are ready, but the ocean might not be. Just because you want to surf doesn’t mean you’ll get the waves that you want. You might get one or two, or five if you’re very lucky, but you might also get none. I was frustrated a few times, but then I understood – it’s not time yet. I’d keep coming back, though, waiting for that perfect day when the ocean would allow me to surf as many waves as I wanted. And I was sure that I’d really appreciate them more then


One day I didn’t catch any waves, but there was sun shining, and suddenly I saw dolphins swimming around us. Was I angry that I didn’t surf that day? Not at all, because I had a beautiful day in company of dolphins in the oceanSometimes you get what you need, not what you think you want. And sometimes it’s better to wait, because you might want something that you actually don’t even need. 


So please, be patient and wait it out.



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