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Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my pho...

Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Step 45 – You Decide

added: 2017-10-22 , category: Transform Yourself

I recently watched a baking show on Netflix. It’s not that I’m a baker now (in fact, it’ been a while since I baked), but I love sweets and I love creative and passionate people (that’s the reason I also watch The Voice every season). I watched it just because I didn’t want to feel guilty eating ice cream. And there was one thing that struck me. The contest on the show was a great mirror of life.

You get a group of people, all from different backgrounds, with different pasts and different dreams (except for the one they share: to win a show), and you give them the same set of tools. And what’s surprising – everyone ends up with a different result. You give them the same ingredients, the same kitchenware, the same conditions and the same exact time – and there is no chance they will end up with the same cake. Some of them will make a great cake (but not a similar one, they won’t look or taste alike) and some of them will fail. If you didn’t measure your time right, if you overestimate or underestimate the conditions you were granted – you will fail.

And that’s how life works, even though some of you still want to argue about it. We all have the same tools, but we all make different choices. And so our lives look so different.  I wanted a different lifestyle, so I gathered money that would help me to survive for a month and left. That was my choice that I don’t cry about, even when it gets really difficult. I don’t blame anyone; it was something I decided to do, so I can only blame myself. If I fail, it’s only on me. But if I win, it’s also on me. It’s not “luck”; it’s the amount of faith and work I put in. Every decision changes your life. Every decision shapes your life – being in this relationship, taking this job, buying this house, buying a car or living abroad. All that changes the current of your life. And these decisions are on you, as are the consequences. If you don’t like them and you’re constantly complaining, put your ass down and think about a different choice that will bring a different solution.

 

What I’m trying to say is – before you say that something is “so difficult”, “impossible”, “not for you”; that someone “is lucky”, look in the mirror and realize that what you just said is garbage. It’s a garbage pile of  false conclusions. As I said at the beginning – we all get very similar (if not the same) tools. And now there is this decision to make – which direction I am choosing to go? Don’t look at others. What’s your decision…? Chasing your dreams is fucking scary and it’s very difficult, but the problem is that there is no easy way to find out if you can make your dreams your reality. You always get a choice – you’re going left or right, or straight or are you turning back again? You just have to decide, on your own with the full understanding that you’re responsible for every choice and that means you’re responsible for the way your life looks like now. 



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