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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 45 – You Decide

added: 2017-10-22 , category: Transform Yourself

I recently watched a baking show on Netflix. It’s not that I’m a baker now (in fact, it’ been a while since I baked), but I love sweets and I love creative and passionate people (that’s the reason I also watch The Voice every season). I watched it just because I didn’t want to feel guilty eating ice cream. And there was one thing that struck me. The contest on the show was a great mirror of life.

You get a group of people, all from different backgrounds, with different pasts and different dreams (except for the one they share: to win a show), and you give them the same set of tools. And what’s surprising – everyone ends up with a different result. You give them the same ingredients, the same kitchenware, the same conditions and the same exact time – and there is no chance they will end up with the same cake. Some of them will make a great cake (but not a similar one, they won’t look or taste alike) and some of them will fail. If you didn’t measure your time right, if you overestimate or underestimate the conditions you were granted – you will fail.

And that’s how life works, even though some of you still want to argue about it. We all have the same tools, but we all make different choices. And so our lives look so different.  I wanted a different lifestyle, so I gathered money that would help me to survive for a month and left. That was my choice that I don’t cry about, even when it gets really difficult. I don’t blame anyone; it was something I decided to do, so I can only blame myself. If I fail, it’s only on me. But if I win, it’s also on me. It’s not “luck”; it’s the amount of faith and work I put in. Every decision changes your life. Every decision shapes your life – being in this relationship, taking this job, buying this house, buying a car or living abroad. All that changes the current of your life. And these decisions are on you, as are the consequences. If you don’t like them and you’re constantly complaining, put your ass down and think about a different choice that will bring a different solution.

 

What I’m trying to say is – before you say that something is “so difficult”, “impossible”, “not for you”; that someone “is lucky”, look in the mirror and realize that what you just said is garbage. It’s a garbage pile of  false conclusions. As I said at the beginning – we all get very similar (if not the same) tools. And now there is this decision to make – which direction I am choosing to go? Don’t look at others. What’s your decision…? Chasing your dreams is fucking scary and it’s very difficult, but the problem is that there is no easy way to find out if you can make your dreams your reality. You always get a choice – you’re going left or right, or straight or are you turning back again? You just have to decide, on your own with the full understanding that you’re responsible for every choice and that means you’re responsible for the way your life looks like now. 



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