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How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, the more I real...

Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
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Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?

added: 2017-10-10 , category: Transform Yourself

photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/

I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real one that you project deep within. I’m not asking you who do you think you are. Rather, I’m asking you who do you think you are not…? I often listen to some wise people and I watch their videos and they all notice a certain pattern. They think that the most common reason for why people are struggling with all kinds of issues is a bit different than you’d think. In their opinion (and I agree with them) your problems start with what you think about yourself. And in particular – that you think that you’re not good enough. Seems stupid…? Maybe. Is it stupid? Not at all. Think about it. Why you don’t reach out for the things you really want…? This job / guy / raise? Because you think you don’t deserve it, that it’s too good for you, because… you think you’re just simply not enough to get it. You might immediately think – what is she talking about? But sit down and think about it for a few minutes. Maybe they’re right…?

(I said – think about that for a few minutes)

I realized they’re right over a year ago and since then every day (yes, every day) I have to remind myself that, in fact, I am good enough.  Do I believe it now…? I can honestly say that I finally do, after a year and a half of working on myself. If you’re completely happy and don’t even understand what I’m talking about, you don’t have to even finish reading this piece, but if there is not much smile on your face, if you’re sad often,irritated, frustrated, depressed  – you might want to try these exercises I tried on myself.

One of the things you should do, which is also recommended by Marisa Peer, is to write down on a mirror / on your hand / in your phone you use daily the sentence: „I’m enough”. Stupid? Not really. Try it, you have nothing to lose. It doesn’t cost you anything. Seeing it over and over again will help you to finally start believing that it’s true. It might take you many months – yes, many months – but it’s worth a shot

But before you do it, start this this small step – start appreciating and loving yourself. I lied; it’s not a small step, it’s a huge step for most of us. This is what I’ve been doing for the past year. I look at myself in the mirror and say: I love you. This short, but very difficult sentence, is a sign of a full approval of yourself.  And it’s the first step to understanding that you’re enough. The problem is that it is very difficult. The first few weeks I couldn’t even say it without tears in my eyes. I cried a lot; it was that painful. Now I’m saying it with a smile, without any hesitation and with full confidence. And then I leave my apartment convinced that I’m enough. Because I’m loved. I’m loved by myself and that’s enough to achieve anything I planned on achieving. Because I have my own back covered.

I promise you that the day when you’re saying that with a smile will arrive. And it would be a day when your life will change. Please don’t let me – and most importantly – don’t let yourself down. Because if you don’t have your own back covered, who do you think would do it for you?



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