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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?

added: 2017-10-10 , category: Transform Yourself

photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/

I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real one that you project deep within. I’m not asking you who do you think you are. Rather, I’m asking you who do you think you are not…? I often listen to some wise people and I watch their videos and they all notice a certain pattern. They think that the most common reason for why people are struggling with all kinds of issues is a bit different than you’d think. In their opinion (and I agree with them) your problems start with what you think about yourself. And in particular – that you think that you’re not good enough. Seems stupid…? Maybe. Is it stupid? Not at all. Think about it. Why you don’t reach out for the things you really want…? This job / guy / raise? Because you think you don’t deserve it, that it’s too good for you, because… you think you’re just simply not enough to get it. You might immediately think – what is she talking about? But sit down and think about it for a few minutes. Maybe they’re right…?

(I said – think about that for a few minutes)

I realized they’re right over a year ago and since then every day (yes, every day) I have to remind myself that, in fact, I am good enough.  Do I believe it now…? I can honestly say that I finally do, after a year and a half of working on myself. If you’re completely happy and don’t even understand what I’m talking about, you don’t have to even finish reading this piece, but if there is not much smile on your face, if you’re sad often,irritated, frustrated, depressed  – you might want to try these exercises I tried on myself.

One of the things you should do, which is also recommended by Marisa Peer, is to write down on a mirror / on your hand / in your phone you use daily the sentence: „I’m enough”. Stupid? Not really. Try it, you have nothing to lose. It doesn’t cost you anything. Seeing it over and over again will help you to finally start believing that it’s true. It might take you many months – yes, many months – but it’s worth a shot

But before you do it, start this this small step – start appreciating and loving yourself. I lied; it’s not a small step, it’s a huge step for most of us. This is what I’ve been doing for the past year. I look at myself in the mirror and say: I love you. This short, but very difficult sentence, is a sign of a full approval of yourself.  And it’s the first step to understanding that you’re enough. The problem is that it is very difficult. The first few weeks I couldn’t even say it without tears in my eyes. I cried a lot; it was that painful. Now I’m saying it with a smile, without any hesitation and with full confidence. And then I leave my apartment convinced that I’m enough. Because I’m loved. I’m loved by myself and that’s enough to achieve anything I planned on achieving. Because I have my own back covered.

I promise you that the day when you’re saying that with a smile will arrive. And it would be a day when your life will change. Please don’t let me – and most importantly – don’t let yourself down. Because if you don’t have your own back covered, who do you think would do it for you?

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