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Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

How I Decided To Give Up This Beauty Race
It happens that I’ve been spending a lot of time on the Upper East Side recently, and must say one thing – there are a lot of fake faces out there. And it really annoys ...

Where Are You From?...Who Cares?
I can’t believe I have to write about this again, but it just bothers me so much, so here we go. Racism is alive and homophobia is alive, and if you think differently, you’re delusional&...

Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?

added: 2017-10-10 , category: Transform Yourself

photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/

I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real one that you project deep within. I’m not asking you who do you think you are. Rather, I’m asking you who do you think you are not…? I often listen to some wise people and I watch their videos and they all notice a certain pattern. They think that the most common reason for why people are struggling with all kinds of issues is a bit different than you’d think. In their opinion (and I agree with them) your problems start with what you think about yourself. And in particular – that you think that you’re not good enough. Seems stupid…? Maybe. Is it stupid? Not at all. Think about it. Why you don’t reach out for the things you really want…? This job / guy / raise? Because you think you don’t deserve it, that it’s too good for you, because… you think you’re just simply not enough to get it. You might immediately think – what is she talking about? But sit down and think about it for a few minutes. Maybe they’re right…?

(I said – think about that for a few minutes)

I realized they’re right over a year ago and since then every day (yes, every day) I have to remind myself that, in fact, I am good enough.  Do I believe it now…? I can honestly say that I finally do, after a year and a half of working on myself. If you’re completely happy and don’t even understand what I’m talking about, you don’t have to even finish reading this piece, but if there is not much smile on your face, if you’re sad often,irritated, frustrated, depressed  – you might want to try these exercises I tried on myself.

One of the things you should do, which is also recommended by Marisa Peer, is to write down on a mirror / on your hand / in your phone you use daily the sentence: „I’m enough”. Stupid? Not really. Try it, you have nothing to lose. It doesn’t cost you anything. Seeing it over and over again will help you to finally start believing that it’s true. It might take you many months – yes, many months – but it’s worth a shot

But before you do it, start this this small step – start appreciating and loving yourself. I lied; it’s not a small step, it’s a huge step for most of us. This is what I’ve been doing for the past year. I look at myself in the mirror and say: I love you. This short, but very difficult sentence, is a sign of a full approval of yourself.  And it’s the first step to understanding that you’re enough. The problem is that it is very difficult. The first few weeks I couldn’t even say it without tears in my eyes. I cried a lot; it was that painful. Now I’m saying it with a smile, without any hesitation and with full confidence. And then I leave my apartment convinced that I’m enough. Because I’m loved. I’m loved by myself and that’s enough to achieve anything I planned on achieving. Because I have my own back covered.

I promise you that the day when you’re saying that with a smile will arrive. And it would be a day when your life will change. Please don’t let me – and most importantly – don’t let yourself down. Because if you don’t have your own back covered, who do you think would do it for you?



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