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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 43: Have the Courage to Stand Alone

added: 2017-10-06 , category: Transform Yourself

Photo by wdkproductions.com

I heard this sentence: “Have the courage to stand alone”, spoken by Brene Brown in a conversation with Marie Forleo a few weeks ago, and it keeps ringing in my head.

This post is not for everyone, because not everyone will truly understand it. That is simply because not everyone needs this something extra in their lives that is so difficult to define. 

Most people have similar dreams and goals: like being in a relationship, travelling, making a lot of money, having kids, being able to afford expensive stuff. But there is also another group of people – like me – who wants something more. And it doesn’t mean we want more of what I just mentioned. No, we might not even want the things listed above. We want something different out of this life – and it doesn’t have a definition, because it varies for each of us.

We have this urge inside of us that keeps us going – our passion; our huge desire to achieve something that’s truly important to us. We have this deep desire to fulfill our goal. We constantly keep our eyes on our prize. Our passion became our life and we won’t stop until we succeed. Had you never had anything that you think about as soon as you wake up, that you deeply care about, that makes your heart run like crazy and makes you the happiest person in the world – you will never understand what I’m talking about.

I don’t have a baby, so I can’t understand what it feels like; I never lost anyone who was really close to me, so I have no idea what it feels like. If you’ve never lived an immigrant, there is no way you’d understand what’s going on through our heads and it’s the same with this urgent feeling I’m trying to explain to you. If you have never felt this weird feeling inside that is stronger than anything else – you cannot possibly understand my choices.

We simply have to fulfill our path and go our own way. It’s difficult, because you sacrifice many things along the way without any guarantee of succeeding. But do it regardless of the outcome, because this is who you are.  You have to stay confident and strong in order to not to get discouraged by all the people along the way who doubt you or make fun of you. You have to get used to the fact that there are people who would just never get what you are about – and it’s not their fault.  They have never felt what you feel, so you can’t expect them to follow your path.

I strongly believe I can change people’s lives, because I went through some dark moments myself. I feel capable to lead some of you onto your journey, learning along the way with you. And I finally stopped expecting that everyone would get it. It’s something that I have to do.

I’m writing this post not to get your approval, because at this point I don’t need any approval anymore. I’m writing this post to give some of you some courage so that you don’t stop. Some of you have doubts and find it difficult because of what others think about it. Please, don’t pay attention to all that noise. Instead, find strength to keep going. And if it’s necessary – find the courage to stand alone. Being by yourself, but on the right path, is more important than being surrounded by people on the path that you don’t really belong to.

It won’t be easy; it will be painful sometimes. You will feel misunderstood most of the times, but please keep in mind that there are people who get you; who know exactly why you’re doing this and where are you going. Take some courage from them and never give up. Because losing yourself is way more painful than getting approval from someone who never understood you in the first place.



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