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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 41 – Close the Open Tabs

added: 2017-09-26 , category: Transform Yourself

I recently noticed that everyone, including myself, says, “OMG, this month passed by so fast! Where did the time go?” And I feel that every year we say it more often. Have you noticed that? It’s our fault. We just want too much and give ourselves unnecessary headaches. We put our mind in too many places at once. 

I do it constantly – I start four things at the time, often forgetting what I’m actually doing. I don’t finish tasks, because I forget that I started them in the first place. I force my brain to work four times harder and faster than is necessary, and then I’m surprised that it can’t stop working and I have problems with slowing down. We all do it. Look around. We’re not able to sit still anymore. Our head is like a computer with many tabs open. You can barely see anyone without a cell phone in their hand anymore, at least you can’t in NY. We will probably invent some kind of glove soon so we can have our phones attached to our hand all the time. 

My goal is to leave only two tabs open, or maybe even just one. There is no need to get them all started at the same time. You just drive yourself crazy. This past year I started really paying attention to what I was doing and I noticed that I create this unnecessary mess for myself. I start writing an e-mail, while checking my Instagram and jotting down notes in my notebook, not to mention chatting with someone on Messenger or replying to text messages. And I do everything at the same time. I could do all these things one by one, but for some reason I think it’s a great idea to make my brain go wild. 

That’s why I started working on it. When I’m writing an e-mail, I’m just writing an e-mail. I won’t text someone back just because I got a text message - I will wait until the e-mail is sent. When I read a book, I will not check my phone for an hour – there is no need to check it every few minutes. These are small steps, but I have to start paying attention to them, because I really do want to be more present. Plus, when you do five things at once you not only don’t do these things right (if you remember to finish them at all), but you make yourself feel anxious and stressed out right away. 

Not everything has to be done immediately. Things can really wait. You don’t have to respond to the e-mail/text message/phone call/social media comment right away. Set up time frames for yourself. For instance, I won’t check any social media between such and such hours. Or when you start a task, promise yourself that for the next hour you’ll be focused only on that task. It sounds easy, but you’ll see it’s actually not that easy at all. 

I do this exercise that I mentioned before on Just Like NY – I go to a coffee shop at least once a week and sit for half an hour just watching people. I don’t touch my phone or any other device. I just let my brain fly. It calms me down (and it helps me realize how addicted to my phone I am). 

Take a closer look at yourself and see if this is also your problem. If it is, it’s a good idea to start working on it. It’ll really help you to live in the present and will decrease your stress level. And that’s something we all need.

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