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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Step 41 – Close the Open Tabs

added: 2017-09-26 , category: Transform Yourself

I recently noticed that everyone, including myself, says, “OMG, this month passed by so fast! Where did the time go?” And I feel that every year we say it more often. Have you noticed that? It’s our fault. We just want too much and give ourselves unnecessary headaches. We put our mind in too many places at once. 

I do it constantly – I start four things at the time, often forgetting what I’m actually doing. I don’t finish tasks, because I forget that I started them in the first place. I force my brain to work four times harder and faster than is necessary, and then I’m surprised that it can’t stop working and I have problems with slowing down. We all do it. Look around. We’re not able to sit still anymore. Our head is like a computer with many tabs open. You can barely see anyone without a cell phone in their hand anymore, at least you can’t in NY. We will probably invent some kind of glove soon so we can have our phones attached to our hand all the time. 

My goal is to leave only two tabs open, or maybe even just one. There is no need to get them all started at the same time. You just drive yourself crazy. This past year I started really paying attention to what I was doing and I noticed that I create this unnecessary mess for myself. I start writing an e-mail, while checking my Instagram and jotting down notes in my notebook, not to mention chatting with someone on Messenger or replying to text messages. And I do everything at the same time. I could do all these things one by one, but for some reason I think it’s a great idea to make my brain go wild. 

That’s why I started working on it. When I’m writing an e-mail, I’m just writing an e-mail. I won’t text someone back just because I got a text message - I will wait until the e-mail is sent. When I read a book, I will not check my phone for an hour – there is no need to check it every few minutes. These are small steps, but I have to start paying attention to them, because I really do want to be more present. Plus, when you do five things at once you not only don’t do these things right (if you remember to finish them at all), but you make yourself feel anxious and stressed out right away. 

Not everything has to be done immediately. Things can really wait. You don’t have to respond to the e-mail/text message/phone call/social media comment right away. Set up time frames for yourself. For instance, I won’t check any social media between such and such hours. Or when you start a task, promise yourself that for the next hour you’ll be focused only on that task. It sounds easy, but you’ll see it’s actually not that easy at all. 

I do this exercise that I mentioned before on Just Like NY – I go to a coffee shop at least once a week and sit for half an hour just watching people. I don’t touch my phone or any other device. I just let my brain fly. It calms me down (and it helps me realize how addicted to my phone I am). 

Take a closer look at yourself and see if this is also your problem. If it is, it’s a good idea to start working on it. It’ll really help you to live in the present and will decrease your stress level. And that’s something we all need.

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