Facebook Instagram Szukaj Kontakt Wersja polska

About me | My projects | My products | Contact

Contact with me
justlikeny@gmail.com

Zapisz się do newslettera





Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 40 – Do You Always Need To Change?

added: 2017-08-27 , category: Transform Yourself

I keep writing about change and about how important it is to work on yourself in order to become the best version of oneself, but I also believe that there are times that you really shouldn’t change.

Yes, you do have some habits that need to be changed, as well as some types of behavior or thinking that need to be stopped (especially when you have been trapped in the same thinking patterns for years). But never change yourself in order to make somebody else happy.  Don’t change because “someone asked you to”. Well, if your friend tells you that your behavior is weird or harmful and you know that they’re right – it’s time to change it. But not if you feel that someone requires you to change to feed their own needs. You should never do that. Don’t change in order to satisfy others. Someone doesn’t like the way you act, laugh, make jokes, dress or spend your time, but you truly like it and it’s exactly in sync with who you are…? Don’t change it. Don’t change to please someone, or to make someone feel good about themselves – because it will always backfire on you.

You’re unique. Not perfect, but unique. There is no one else like you. You have your flaws, because you’re a human being; but you also have something that no one else has and you should be sincerely happy about it. You have some “weird things” about you – and that’s great. Don’t try to cover them up; you should celebrate and cultivate them. Many people are trying to hide their “weirdness” and fit in and I think that makes no sense at all. The older I get, the more I understand that it’s the most beautiful thing about you –  it makes you really special. So don’t you dare to change it. I, for instance, love to laugh at my own jokes and can make myself laugh all the time (and it’s really difficult to make fun of me, because I will laugh the loudest at myself). People find it weird or stupid, but I have no intention of changing it. I like it about myself – at least I’m never bored and I always entertain myself.

Some people think that they have to change in order to be with someone. They will find – like I used to do – things that should be changed within them in order to get someone’s attention. You can’t do that. You will not be in everyone’s type, there’s no chance for that, but there are people out there who look for someone exactly like you, with all these weird traits that you have. And they wouldn’t want you to change. So instead of thinking what’s wrong with you, start noticing what’s right with you. But in order to see that, you have to become more self-aware. How do you do that…? You have to pay attention to yourself more. Go through all these steps I wrote about already in my “Transform yourself” section, there are 40 of them already. Spend some time only with yourself, without your phone; meditate, listen to yourself, trust your body more, trust your intuition and be kinder to yourself. And make some changes, not because someone requires you to do so, but simply because you want to.



Your comments

comments powered by Disqus