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Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Double Standard – Why Are Women Treated Differently?
I had a situation that I wrote about on Facebook, but I want to write more about it, because there is more to it.  So there was a guy, a customer of mine who I had met maybe three times, who&n...

Why Having a Boyfriend Will Not Make You Happy?
When I was a teenage girl (that is one week ago… just kidding), my biggest dream was to have a boyfriend. Especially since a weekly column called “Love Story” from “Bravo&r...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?
What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that ...

Men and Sex
What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (c...

Step 40 – Do You Always Need To Change?

added: 2017-08-27 , category: Transform Yourself

I keep writing about change and about how important it is to work on yourself in order to become the best version of oneself, but I also believe that there are times that you really shouldn’t change.

Yes, you do have some habits that need to be changed, as well as some types of behavior or thinking that need to be stopped (especially when you have been trapped in the same thinking patterns for years). But never change yourself in order to make somebody else happy.  Don’t change because “someone asked you to”. Well, if your friend tells you that your behavior is weird or harmful and you know that they’re right – it’s time to change it. But not if you feel that someone requires you to change to feed their own needs. You should never do that. Don’t change in order to satisfy others. Someone doesn’t like the way you act, laugh, make jokes, dress or spend your time, but you truly like it and it’s exactly in sync with who you are…? Don’t change it. Don’t change to please someone, or to make someone feel good about themselves – because it will always backfire on you.

You’re unique. Not perfect, but unique. There is no one else like you. You have your flaws, because you’re a human being; but you also have something that no one else has and you should be sincerely happy about it. You have some “weird things” about you – and that’s great. Don’t try to cover them up; you should celebrate and cultivate them. Many people are trying to hide their “weirdness” and fit in and I think that makes no sense at all. The older I get, the more I understand that it’s the most beautiful thing about you –  it makes you really special. So don’t you dare to change it. I, for instance, love to laugh at my own jokes and can make myself laugh all the time (and it’s really difficult to make fun of me, because I will laugh the loudest at myself). People find it weird or stupid, but I have no intention of changing it. I like it about myself – at least I’m never bored and I always entertain myself.

Some people think that they have to change in order to be with someone. They will find – like I used to do – things that should be changed within them in order to get someone’s attention. You can’t do that. You will not be in everyone’s type, there’s no chance for that, but there are people out there who look for someone exactly like you, with all these weird traits that you have. And they wouldn’t want you to change. So instead of thinking what’s wrong with you, start noticing what’s right with you. But in order to see that, you have to become more self-aware. How do you do that…? You have to pay attention to yourself more. Go through all these steps I wrote about already in my “Transform yourself” section, there are 40 of them already. Spend some time only with yourself, without your phone; meditate, listen to yourself, trust your body more, trust your intuition and be kinder to yourself. And make some changes, not because someone requires you to do so, but simply because you want to.



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