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Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It ...

How About My Ego?
I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relat...

Brooklyn Stories #1
As I said in my previous post, I decided to move out (I lived in my apartment for the past three years) and start fresh in a new neighborhood (I chose Greenpoint, which became a desired neighborho...

Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
photo by Janusz Tomczyk wdkproductions.com I don’t know why people, especially women, keep whining about their age and “getting older”. What I say about myself being now in my 30s...

The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

Where I Am Now and Where I Want To Be
Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com Since I keep saying that you should follow your dreams and that I believe you can get what you envision for yourself (or, to put it simply &ndas...

Step 47 - Mindset is everything
photo by Janusz Tomczyk www.wdkproductions.com People think that if they get more things, their situation will change. More money, more opportunities, more education, more time, more cont...

Super Single
Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com A few days ago, I first heard the term “super single” and my first thought was – what did they came up with this time…?...

Step 46 – Be patient
If someone asked me to choose only one thing as my most valuable lesson NY taught me, it would have to be – being patient. I’m so happy I finally learned this ve...

Step 45 – You Decide
I recently watched a baking show on Netflix. It’s not that I’m a baker now (in fact, it’ been a while since I baked), but I love sweets and I love creative and passionate people (t...

Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?
photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/ I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real ...

Walk with me, Part 4 – Nolita
Nolita is right next to Soho and I was thinking of putting these two walks together – and you could do that of course – but there are just too many things to explore in each neighborhood s...

Step 40 – Do You Always Need To Change?

added: 2017-08-27 , category: Transform Yourself

I keep writing about change and about how important it is to work on yourself in order to become the best version of oneself, but I also believe that there are times that you really shouldn’t change.

Yes, you do have some habits that need to be changed, as well as some types of behavior or thinking that need to be stopped (especially when you have been trapped in the same thinking patterns for years). But never change yourself in order to make somebody else happy.  Don’t change because “someone asked you to”. Well, if your friend tells you that your behavior is weird or harmful and you know that they’re right – it’s time to change it. But not if you feel that someone requires you to change to feed their own needs. You should never do that. Don’t change in order to satisfy others. Someone doesn’t like the way you act, laugh, make jokes, dress or spend your time, but you truly like it and it’s exactly in sync with who you are…? Don’t change it. Don’t change to please someone, or to make someone feel good about themselves – because it will always backfire on you.

You’re unique. Not perfect, but unique. There is no one else like you. You have your flaws, because you’re a human being; but you also have something that no one else has and you should be sincerely happy about it. You have some “weird things” about you – and that’s great. Don’t try to cover them up; you should celebrate and cultivate them. Many people are trying to hide their “weirdness” and fit in and I think that makes no sense at all. The older I get, the more I understand that it’s the most beautiful thing about you –  it makes you really special. So don’t you dare to change it. I, for instance, love to laugh at my own jokes and can make myself laugh all the time (and it’s really difficult to make fun of me, because I will laugh the loudest at myself). People find it weird or stupid, but I have no intention of changing it. I like it about myself – at least I’m never bored and I always entertain myself.

Some people think that they have to change in order to be with someone. They will find – like I used to do – things that should be changed within them in order to get someone’s attention. You can’t do that. You will not be in everyone’s type, there’s no chance for that, but there are people out there who look for someone exactly like you, with all these weird traits that you have. And they wouldn’t want you to change. So instead of thinking what’s wrong with you, start noticing what’s right with you. But in order to see that, you have to become more self-aware. How do you do that…? You have to pay attention to yourself more. Go through all these steps I wrote about already in my “Transform yourself” section, there are 40 of them already. Spend some time only with yourself, without your phone; meditate, listen to yourself, trust your body more, trust your intuition and be kinder to yourself. And make some changes, not because someone requires you to do so, but simply because you want to.



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