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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 39: The Map of Happiness

added: 2017-08-22 , category: Transform Yourself

Do you think that something like a map of happiness really exists…? I believe it does. I just watched an interview (on Impact Theory again; which is the YouTube channel I mentioned you a few times before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8CD2QEYo6Q) with Vanessa Edwards, the scientist whose book “Captivate” is a bestseller right now (can’t wait to read it!). She is working on a new book about happiness and already said that we can easily expand our own. She says that the moments of real, big-scale happiness don’t happen that often in our lives, but what really matters are those small happy moments that happen to us on a daily basis that we don’t even notice (like drinking our favorite coffee or making breakfast for our loved ones). Those are the moments we should be celebrating and that we should also have more of in our lives.

How we can do that? It’s easier than I thought it’d be, and yet it never occurred to me to do it. Edwards simply advises us to write down what we do every day. To write down everything. Starting with our morning routine, breakfast, work, chores, hobbies – everything. And then, after you write it all down, she asks you to rank the stuff from 1 to 10. 1 means that the thing brings you the least amount of happiness;  10 is the happiest of course. Why she asks you to do that? Because this list will help you to realize what really makes you happy and what gets you down. After you understand what puts smile on your face, it will be easier for you to incorporate these things into your life. Isn’t that simple and brilliant at the same time…?

I said it never occurred to me, but now I realized that it actually did, a year ago. I remember I got dizzy, because of all the expectations I set out for myself – and one day I just went to Argo Tea, sat down for 2 hours and started thinking of what was missing from my life. I wrote down things that always made me happy and that I stopped doing for some reason. Going to the movies, reading magazines and exploring NY were three top things on that list. And after I wrote it all down, I promised myself to do exactly those things at least once a week. And now I’m doing them again – and that makes me really happy.

I will make the list Venessa advised us to do, just out of curiosity. I wanted to see what I should avoid doing and what should be on my weekly to-do list. Why? Because, as I said a few times already on Just Like NY, we all think “we still have time” and we put off the things that are important to us on a shelf, always waiting for the “right day” to arrive. Well, guess what: It arrived right now. How about living like it was our last week/month/year on this planet…? Just do it, before it gets too late. 



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