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The Most Annoying American Family
I must say, I’m so fed up with these fake images and fake lives that are all over social media now. And there is one family that makes me especially angry. You’ve p...

Step 53 - Do You Have A Choice?
I believe I have already written about what I am about to say in this post, but I’ll be coming back to the subject, because it’s really important. I notice more and more often that we ge...

Step 52 - Don’t Assume (Or In Another Words, Don’t Judge)
We’re all guilty of it. We judge. And even if you say or think that you don’t, I have bad news for you – yes, you do. We all classify people based on our knowledge of the...

Stereotypes. Have Enough Class To Not Say Anything
I wrote about stereotypes already, but the longer I live here, the more I see that not much is changing in this matter. Living in NY will help you learn more about other cultures, but it doesn&rsq...

What’s My Health Plan For 2018?
I want to share with you my health plan for this year. I don’t know if it works out. I will be experimenting and see what would work for me – and what would be the results in December 20...

Americans’ Dirty Secret
It’s a very difficult topic, but since I really want to write about it, I’m now taking a risk. I’ve been living here for almost five years – and if I combined that period wit...

My Jobs in NY
I wrote about jobs in New York already – about how I believe that there is no job that you should be ashamed of. Let me tell you about my job experience here in a bit more detail. As soon as...

Why You Shouldn’t Fall In Love Too Quickly
I just watched Matthew Hussey’s new video (I wrote about Matthew already on Just Like NY) and I haven’t been watching any recently, but when I saw this title “Four Dangerous Reason...

Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

Step 36 - Be a Doer

added: 2017-07-30 , category: Transform Yourself

There is this great app ad on the subway that always makes me smile. It says: “In doers we trust”. And I always think the same thing: “Yes, it’s always up to the doers”. If there weren’t people who decide to do something – instead of sitting and giving up – nothing would ever change.

I want to become a doer. I want to be that person who actually moves one’s ass and makes some changes. First in myself, then in things around that are not right. 

To be a doer, for me, also means to be responsible for one’s own words. A doer is someone who does things they said they’d do. And it starts in everyday life. I want to be that person, too. What do I mean by that…? It’s simple – do what you said you’d do. It starts with basic things – you promised to send an e-mail, send the information, go for a coffee, call back, meet for a dinner… so do it. Don’t say it just in order to say it. If you’re not planning on doing it – don’t promise that. It not only makes people think that they can’t rely on you, but you also put a burden on yourself.

I’m not an angel when it comes to that: I did promise things several times, then I forgot about it and didn’t end up doing those things. I must say I got better though, because I want to be considered as someone who keeps promises. I’m still not perfect, but at least I stopped promising things that I know I wouldn’t be able to complete. We all know this situation – someone asks you to “grab a coffee one day” and you say yes, even though you really don’t want to do it. Why you even say yes then…? To be nice…? You give someone hope and you give yourself a headache, because then you will spend many hours figuring out how to avoid this situation. You’d waste so much energy on that! And you could have avoided all of that by simply saying “No” right away. Just be honest, especially with yourself. Just say “No”, in order not to bother yourself with the issue anymore. You think you’re being nice by agreeing on things you don’t want to do, because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe at that moment you’re nice, but you won’t be nice later on coming up with excuses. Don’t be nice, be yourself. You don’t have to say: “I don’t want to see you”, you can just simply say: “I just know my mind will be taken up with other stuff, so I don’t want to promise you something that I can’t keep”. The subject gets closed with one sentence. This person will be disappointed for a minute, but then they will appreciate the fact that you didn’t waste their time, either.

 

Not everyone was born a doer, but it’s a skill that you can learn – is the matter of practice. It’s not easy and it requires you to be consistent, but once you get it, your life becomes easier. You will stop distracting yourself with unnecessary things. You become more focused on things that matter to you and that will help you to accomplish more. And this is what doers do. The decision who you want to become is only up to you. 



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