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Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finally ...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops? In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, sinc...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yorkers a lot....

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

How to Choose a Partner?
There is a problem with choosing the right guy. Namely: when do you know he is, in fact, right? What is the most important factor? Should you make a list and stick to it? Or is it better to go with...

Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It ...

How About My Ego?
I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relat...

Brooklyn Stories #1
As I said in my previous post, I decided to move out (I lived in my apartment for the past three years) and start fresh in a new neighborhood (I chose Greenpoint, which became a desired neighborho...

Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
photo by Janusz Tomczyk wdkproductions.com I don’t know why people, especially women, keep whining about their age and “getting older”. What I say about myself being now in my 30s...

The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

Step 36 - Be a Doer

added: 2017-07-30 , category: Transform Yourself

There is this great app ad on the subway that always makes me smile. It says: “In doers we trust”. And I always think the same thing: “Yes, it’s always up to the doers”. If there weren’t people who decide to do something – instead of sitting and giving up – nothing would ever change.

I want to become a doer. I want to be that person who actually moves one’s ass and makes some changes. First in myself, then in things around that are not right. 

To be a doer, for me, also means to be responsible for one’s own words. A doer is someone who does things they said they’d do. And it starts in everyday life. I want to be that person, too. What do I mean by that…? It’s simple – do what you said you’d do. It starts with basic things – you promised to send an e-mail, send the information, go for a coffee, call back, meet for a dinner… so do it. Don’t say it just in order to say it. If you’re not planning on doing it – don’t promise that. It not only makes people think that they can’t rely on you, but you also put a burden on yourself.

I’m not an angel when it comes to that: I did promise things several times, then I forgot about it and didn’t end up doing those things. I must say I got better though, because I want to be considered as someone who keeps promises. I’m still not perfect, but at least I stopped promising things that I know I wouldn’t be able to complete. We all know this situation – someone asks you to “grab a coffee one day” and you say yes, even though you really don’t want to do it. Why you even say yes then…? To be nice…? You give someone hope and you give yourself a headache, because then you will spend many hours figuring out how to avoid this situation. You’d waste so much energy on that! And you could have avoided all of that by simply saying “No” right away. Just be honest, especially with yourself. Just say “No”, in order not to bother yourself with the issue anymore. You think you’re being nice by agreeing on things you don’t want to do, because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe at that moment you’re nice, but you won’t be nice later on coming up with excuses. Don’t be nice, be yourself. You don’t have to say: “I don’t want to see you”, you can just simply say: “I just know my mind will be taken up with other stuff, so I don’t want to promise you something that I can’t keep”. The subject gets closed with one sentence. This person will be disappointed for a minute, but then they will appreciate the fact that you didn’t waste their time, either.

 

Not everyone was born a doer, but it’s a skill that you can learn – is the matter of practice. It’s not easy and it requires you to be consistent, but once you get it, your life becomes easier. You will stop distracting yourself with unnecessary things. You become more focused on things that matter to you and that will help you to accomplish more. And this is what doers do. The decision who you want to become is only up to you. 



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