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Step 37 – Don’t give up on this year yet
  We are in the middle of August and that means that over 7 months of this year are gone. But the good news is that 5 of them are still left. It’s almost half of the year! 5 months is roug...

10 Types of Most Annoying Subway People I See Every Day:
1.        First of all, I think that a person who gets on a train and keeps their backpack on (when it’s crowded) should be slapped in the face right away. What&rs...

Come For A Walk With Me, Part 2: Dumbo, Brooklyn Bridge Park
This is definitely one of my favorite walks in NY and it always makes me fall in love with NY again. Take the F train and get off at York St. station in Brooklyn. You’re in Dumbo now (I wrote ab...

Step 37 - How Can You Convince Someone To Change?
We all know this situation: someone is stuck with a wrong partner and you want them to finally end their nightmare, or someone is struggling with something (weight/ money problems/ family problems)....

Surfing
When I was a kid, I remember watching people surfing on TV (where else could I have watched them, growing up in Poland…?) and dreaming to be like them one day. Then, soon after I graduated, I...

Step 36 - Be a Doer
There is this great app ad on the subway that always makes me smile. It says: “In doers we trust”. And I always think the same thing: “Yes, it’s always up to the doers”...

My Four Years in NY
Four years in NY passed for me almost two months ago. Four years is a lot to live abroad. Every year I do a summary of what I’ve learned during yet another year. This past one was amazing, to ...

Step 35 - Get Yourself Motivated
I listened to an interesting interview some time ago, in which a girl from a small village asked what to do to get yourself motivated if you can’t motivate yourself and you don’t have pe...

Paul Nicklen Gallery
There is a lot of bad things to be said about social media, but I believe that when used it wisely, it’s a great tool overall. I followed a photographer, Chris Burkard (@chriburkard), on Instagr...

Step 34 - Transformation.
I just finished reading a book “Brave enough” by Cheryl Strayed, in which she says something that moved me: “Transformation doesn’t ask that you stop being you. It demands th...

When Is the Right Time To Say No To a Guy?
The great thing about getting older is that your brain keeps working better and better. You finally see certain connections occur and you don’t do as many stupid things that end up hurting you...

Step 33 - There is Nothing Between Me and Me
I can truly say that I love myself. Or maybe even that I’m in love with myself. And before you think or say that I’m shallow or narcissistic (which completely missed my point), I’l...

Step 36 - Be a Doer

added: 2017-07-30 , category: Transform Yourself

There is this great app ad on the subway that always makes me smile. It says: “In doers we trust”. And I always think the same thing: “Yes, it’s always up to the doers”. If there weren’t people who decide to do something – instead of sitting and giving up – nothing would ever change.

I want to become a doer. I want to be that person who actually moves one’s ass and makes some changes. First in myself, then in things around that are not right. 

To be a doer, for me, also means to be responsible for one’s own words. A doer is someone who does things they said they’d do. And it starts in everyday life. I want to be that person, too. What do I mean by that…? It’s simple – do what you said you’d do. It starts with basic things – you promised to send an e-mail, send the information, go for a coffee, call back, meet for a dinner… so do it. Don’t say it just in order to say it. If you’re not planning on doing it – don’t promise that. It not only makes people think that they can’t rely on you, but you also put a burden on yourself.

I’m not an angel when it comes to that: I did promise things several times, then I forgot about it and didn’t end up doing those things. I must say I got better though, because I want to be considered as someone who keeps promises. I’m still not perfect, but at least I stopped promising things that I know I wouldn’t be able to complete. We all know this situation – someone asks you to “grab a coffee one day” and you say yes, even though you really don’t want to do it. Why you even say yes then…? To be nice…? You give someone hope and you give yourself a headache, because then you will spend many hours figuring out how to avoid this situation. You’d waste so much energy on that! And you could have avoided all of that by simply saying “No” right away. Just be honest, especially with yourself. Just say “No”, in order not to bother yourself with the issue anymore. You think you’re being nice by agreeing on things you don’t want to do, because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe at that moment you’re nice, but you won’t be nice later on coming up with excuses. Don’t be nice, be yourself. You don’t have to say: “I don’t want to see you”, you can just simply say: “I just know my mind will be taken up with other stuff, so I don’t want to promise you something that I can’t keep”. The subject gets closed with one sentence. This person will be disappointed for a minute, but then they will appreciate the fact that you didn’t waste their time, either.

 

Not everyone was born a doer, but it’s a skill that you can learn – is the matter of practice. It’s not easy and it requires you to be consistent, but once you get it, your life becomes easier. You will stop distracting yourself with unnecessary things. You become more focused on things that matter to you and that will help you to accomplish more. And this is what doers do. The decision who you want to become is only up to you. 



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