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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

How I Decided To Give Up This Beauty Race

added: 2018-09-04 , category: Living in NY

It happens that I’ve been spending a lot of time on the Upper East Side recently, and must say one thing – there are a lot of fake faces out there. And it really annoys me. It annoys me the point where I’ve decided not to worry that much about my looks anymore.


I recently talked to one lady who is in her 50s and lives in Atlanta now. She came to NY, to her old neighborhood, the Upper East Side, for a school reunion. She hadn’t seen some of her college classmates in 40 years! I saw her a day before the reunion - she was excited and a bit scared – 40 years is a long time, after all. And then I saw her the day after. She said she had a great time and she added, “But you know what? All my friends had something done to their faces. All of them. And I haven’t done anything and suddenly started thinking that maybe I should do something about that.” I told her that that’s nonsense (she has better skin than I do!) and asked her not to even think about it. And we both started talking about fake faces in that particular neighborhood. Most of the women there have their lips done, not to mention botox and other stuff that I can’t even name (a lot of plastic surgery)They all look alike. And I’m always wondering – do you really think that people won’t notice? Or do you just not care? But then again – if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have all of this plastic surgery. 


I see faces like this all over Manhattan. And then on Instagram. What is it about this perfectly smooth, young looking face? Ok, I get it - I want to look young as well, but I won’t pretend I don’t have wrinkles, or that I’m not 36. I’m not 20, it’s impossible to have a perfectly smooth face without wrinkles anymore. And there is nothing wrong with that! I know, I still don’t look old and maybe I’ll change my mind about this subject in 10 years (especially given that I love the sun and don’t avoid it at all – actually, quite the opposite), but for now, I just refuse to believe that we all should look the same and super young all the time. Why is it so shameful to have some wrinkles? Our grandmothers didn’t worry about shit like that. They didn’t even have foundation and they were happy! What’s this obsession with having everything perfect? I’m guilty of that myself. I catch myself looking closer and closer in the mirror and asking myself – how old do they think I am? Yes, I’m probably vain, but I blame society. It’s impossible to feel good about yourself in today’s fake filter world. All these elongated eyelashes, permanent eyebrows, perfect make-up. I got really tired of that. I really did. I just can’t do it anymore. Especially now, when it’s summertime. It’s so hot that you just can’t be in charge of your own look– the heat will not let you do it. I’m walking in Manhattan sweating my ass off now and the last thing on my mind is if I look good. 


A few days ago, I was waiting for a train on a subway platform and I suddenly felt sweat streaming down my back and legs and my “fresh” hair got so wet that it wrapped around my neck, making me feel even hotter. And that was the exact moment when I decided that I give up. I gave up worrying if my face looks good, if I’m skinny enough, what people think about me. I just gave up. I realized you can’t win this battle. There will be always something wrong with you, there will be always someone with better looking skin or a better looking ass. If you want to be part of that – be my guest. But I’m getting off. I choose to be real - with these wrinkles around my eyes (I laugh a lot and I would definitely not give up that), with my imperfect skin and belly that isn’t quite flat yet (and probably never will be). I choose to be myself. Because I don’t want to look like anyone else. And considering where it’s all going – the chances that I might look like no one around me are huge – because I would be the only one with a face looking like a leather bag. And that’s fine. If this is the price – I’m willing to pay it. I will focus on being good and happy rather than being perfect. I call it a fair trade.



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