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Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

How I Decided To Give Up This Beauty Race
It happens that I’ve been spending a lot of time on the Upper East Side recently, and must say one thing – there are a lot of fake faces out there. And it really annoys ...

Where Are You From?...Who Cares?
I can’t believe I have to write about this again, but it just bothers me so much, so here we go. Racism is alive and homophobia is alive, and if you think differently, you’re delusional&...

Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

Where Are You From?...Who Cares?

added: 2018-08-19 , category: Living in NY

I can’t believe I have to write about this again, but it just bothers me so much, so here we go. Racism is alive and homophobia is alive, and if you think differently, you’re delusional (World Cup memes and comments showed a lot of that). It’s not as bad as it used to be, but it’s still here. And anyone who objects is just blind, or is just trying to be politically correct. 


The more I live in NY, the more I not only don’t understand it, but the more I also can’t imagine living in a country that has only one skin color or only one way of living (only straight, white couples). NY is a kingdom of variety, and that’s why this city attracts so many people. Because of this variety, not because of anything else. You might come here to see Times Square, but the truth is that people on the streets are more mesmerizing than those huge colorful Broadway ads. 


So explain it to me, because I still don’t get it – why does it matters where someone is from, what skin color they have and/or what sexual preferences they have? Why does it matter? How miserable is your life that it concerns you who this person is having sex with? How narrow minded are you that you see a black person and immediately assume that they are from Africa and can’t read or speak English? Why do transgendered people scare you and make you feel like you have to say, “I am not against people like this?” Why do gays and lesbians have to get “this look” from you (as if they care about your opinion)? The more I live here, the more I realize that it really doesn’t matter what we look like or who we want to sleep with. You meet a mean gay person and an amazing one, you meet an uneducated person with dark skin and a professor at the best university (he might have been born in NY or France or on an island you haven’t even heard of). There are funny Polish people and the ones you don’t even talk to. People from the same country behave completely differently from each other, so why do you always try to put them in the same box? I bet you wouldn’t meet a Polish woman like me in NY or even in Poland. I don’t even understand this desire to know the country people are from or their sexual preferences. It’s not because I’m ignorant, it’s actually the opposite – because it truly doesn’t matter. I noticed that we ask about the country just because we want to put someone in some category, and the truth is that your country is rarely a reflection of you. My country isn’t the reflection of who I am at all – that’s for sure. 

I’m interested in a person, in the energy they give me. The only thing that is important to me is how this person treats other people, what they are interested in, and if they are nice and kind. 


Don’t be ignorant! I see educated people and people with money who say things that just blow my mind. Why did you even get that education if you’re going to insult other people just because of their skin color or their sexual preference? Go back to your school and ask for your money back, because you were clearly ripped off. There is no room for people like that in my life anymore. I would break any friendship if I see any signs of this type of ignorance. It’s 2018 - get your eyes off your phone and look around. Start acknowledging other people; you might actually change your mind just by talking to them, like a human being to a human being, not like a privileged white straight person talking to “this other.” We have to wake up and open your eyes. Get out of your head and open your mind, because you’re clearly stuck in your own racist and homophobic bubble. And that just means you’re wasting the life that was given to you. All I’m asking is – treat all people the same way you want to be treated.



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