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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Where Are You From?...Who Cares?

added: 2018-08-19 , category: Living in NY

I can’t believe I have to write about this again, but it just bothers me so much, so here we go. Racism is alive and homophobia is alive, and if you think differently, you’re delusional (World Cup memes and comments showed a lot of that). It’s not as bad as it used to be, but it’s still here. And anyone who objects is just blind, or is just trying to be politically correct. 


The more I live in NY, the more I not only don’t understand it, but the more I also can’t imagine living in a country that has only one skin color or only one way of living (only straight, white couples). NY is a kingdom of variety, and that’s why this city attracts so many people. Because of this variety, not because of anything else. You might come here to see Times Square, but the truth is that people on the streets are more mesmerizing than those huge colorful Broadway ads. 


So explain it to me, because I still don’t get it – why does it matters where someone is from, what skin color they have and/or what sexual preferences they have? Why does it matter? How miserable is your life that it concerns you who this person is having sex with? How narrow minded are you that you see a black person and immediately assume that they are from Africa and can’t read or speak English? Why do transgendered people scare you and make you feel like you have to say, “I am not against people like this?” Why do gays and lesbians have to get “this look” from you (as if they care about your opinion)? The more I live here, the more I realize that it really doesn’t matter what we look like or who we want to sleep with. You meet a mean gay person and an amazing one, you meet an uneducated person with dark skin and a professor at the best university (he might have been born in NY or France or on an island you haven’t even heard of). There are funny Polish people and the ones you don’t even talk to. People from the same country behave completely differently from each other, so why do you always try to put them in the same box? I bet you wouldn’t meet a Polish woman like me in NY or even in Poland. I don’t even understand this desire to know the country people are from or their sexual preferences. It’s not because I’m ignorant, it’s actually the opposite – because it truly doesn’t matter. I noticed that we ask about the country just because we want to put someone in some category, and the truth is that your country is rarely a reflection of you. My country isn’t the reflection of who I am at all – that’s for sure. 

I’m interested in a person, in the energy they give me. The only thing that is important to me is how this person treats other people, what they are interested in, and if they are nice and kind. 


Don’t be ignorant! I see educated people and people with money who say things that just blow my mind. Why did you even get that education if you’re going to insult other people just because of their skin color or their sexual preference? Go back to your school and ask for your money back, because you were clearly ripped off. There is no room for people like that in my life anymore. I would break any friendship if I see any signs of this type of ignorance. It’s 2018 - get your eyes off your phone and look around. Start acknowledging other people; you might actually change your mind just by talking to them, like a human being to a human being, not like a privileged white straight person talking to “this other.” We have to wake up and open your eyes. Get out of your head and open your mind, because you’re clearly stuck in your own racist and homophobic bubble. And that just means you’re wasting the life that was given to you. All I’m asking is – treat all people the same way you want to be treated.



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