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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

Stereotypes. Have Enough Class To Not Say Anything

added: 2018-02-08 , category: Living in NY

I wrote about stereotypes already, but the longer I live here, the more I see that not much is changing in this matter. Living in NY will help you learn more about other cultures, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll become magically free of stereotypes overnight. I’ve learned that even living here for your whole life might not help you (usually it might even make things worse, especially when you don’t travel that much).

What is a stereotype anyway? According to Wikipedia, it’s an oversimplified image or idea of a particular person or concept. In NY, that definition should also include: “of a particular culture”. Since people of all cultures live here, we have opinions about every nation or culture – based on what we see most often around us. This is how we build stereotypes – we see that two or three people from, let’s say, Poland, do something particular – and we create this image in our head that “this is what Poles do”. And I do get it, there is a grain of truth in every stereotype – they don’t come out of nowhere. I can’t be angry hearing that “Polish women usually clean houses in US”, because the majority really does. Does it make it the truth about all Polish women…? No, it does not. But as I said – I do understand where it comes from.

I heard of one situation that happened recently to a girl I know. She is Spanish, raised in NY. She was asked by an older rich white American guy at her job (in a fancy neighborhood where mostly white Americans live) where does she live and before she answered the guy said: Queens? And she got really upset. He thought that because she’s Spanish she “must live in Queens”, where most Spanish people live. His process of thinking was stupid, of course, because Spanish people live in every neighborhood. And she happened to live just around the corner, not even two blocks away from him. He would have learned that, had he waited for the answer. They had a big argument and she asked him if he dared to ask the same question to a white American woman or to a black guy (I know the answer – he would not). After that, he stopped coming to her work.

I used to get angry when people asked me if I lived in Greenpoint, just because I’m Polish. But hey, now I really do live in Greenpoint, so they would be actually right. I used to get angry when people were asking me if I was Russian. Now, I don’t care. And I wouldn’t also get as offended as that girl did. Not because she wasn’t right – damn sure she was – but because it’s not my problem that someone is narrow-minded. Because the question like that – that underlaying assumption – doesn’t mean anything else than that: a person making it is narrow-minded. It also means that they don’t have any class.

When I moved here, I asked people: “Where are you from?”. Now I ask: “Were you born in NY?”. Just because someone has a different skin color, or a different accent, doesn’t mean they are from outside NY or US. That also doesn’t determine their job, values or their goals. I’m not an angel and I have my opinion on some nations too, just because I encountered many situations with them, but I have enough class, and common sense, to not to say things like that or think that EVERYONE is like that. And most importantly – before I speak up, I think twice. I’m very careful with my words now – offending someone is one thing, but I just don’t want to be one of these people who say stupid statements like that. If you don’t know, just ask. And if you don’t want to ask, at least remain silent. Don’t assume that you know, because most of the time you don’t know shit about the other person’s life and goals (more about judging soon). Step one level higher than others and ask questions instead of making assumptions: I assure you that the answers will really surprise you. Don’t stereotype people, because it only shows how much knowledge you are still lacking. Not to even mention the class you clearly don’t yet acquired.



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