Just like NY



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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Americans’ Dirty Secret

added: 2018-02-04 , category: Living in NY

It’s a very difficult topic, but since I really want to write about it, I’m now taking a risk. I’ve been living here for almost five years – and if I combined that period with all the other times I visited here before, it would be probably make seven years altogether. I can say a lot about Americans, but one thing that I noticed the most is that… they really don’t like pain. They don’t handle it well. And they avoid it at all cost. None of us likes pain, of course, and we all try to avoid it, but we – especially we kids from Eastern Europe or other poorer countries – had to deal with all kinds of pain even before we grew up. It simply helped us to get ready for an adult life which – as we all know in my part of the world – is filled with pain. Not everything goes according to a perfect plan you created in your head. This is what’s called life.

But what I keep noticing here is that parents do whatever they can to prevent their kids from experiencing pain. And thy do it from their earliest years. Parents don’t want their kids to get hurt. Of course you, as a parent, shouldn’t want your kid to suffer, but it doesn’t mean you should send this kid to a shrink at the age of 5 and give them pills to knock them out so they don’t experience suffering. And this is what parents actually do here. The richer they are, the sooner they send their kids to a psychiatrist. I’m not against psychiatry, but I am against pills. Because the dirty Americans secret is that most of the people here are on something (and I’m not exaggerating). Drugs is one problem (but it’s a problem all over the world, it has nothing to do with big cities anymore), but the prescribed pills is a more serious problem of Americans.

I consider myself naïve, because I always think that people deal with stress or problems the same way I do – they cry a bit, get sad for a few days and then make a plan to shovel the shit out of my way. But no. Whenever you have a problem here and you go to see a doctor, the first thing you’ll hear is if you want to get Xanax or something similar. They will always advise you to take antidepressants. Of course, there are times when you need them, but you can’t prescribe them for everything. My friend broke up with her boyfriend and this is what the doctor wanted to give her right away! Wtf? And these small kids get the same “cure” for everything – another pill. They’re a few years old, for God’s sake! And what’s the result of all of this? It’s helping to grow a weak society. Everyone is really fragile here. Everyone is dealing with something and is depressed. Depression is a serious disease, but not everyone suffers from depression! They didn’t get a job they wanted, their boyfriend broke up with them, they didn’t make as much as they wanted – and they’re depressed right away. It’s a bit horrifying to watch young people acting like they’re on their deathbed because of some minor problem. I swear if they were in my shoes – those of an Eastern European immigrant woman working her ass off –  they would probably commit suicide.

I’m attracted to American guys, because they’re different from guys from my country (the first things that come to my mind is: they’re not drawn in their complexes and are more confident, which I really like, and they’re handsome too, you know – American boy…), but I’m a bit afraid that I would fall for a guy who will end up being weak. Because this is what this society does to guys here – every painful emotion is covered with a pill and this just weakens people. They think it’s natural and they don’t see that they can’t function without it anymore. Every bit of sadness goes with a medicine. I don’t think it’s normal and I’m shocked that society we look to so much is drowning itself in this “pain-free world” they created. The whole health system here sucks, which is why people from richer societies like from Scandinavia, Germany, Australia rarely want to settle here. When they see how bad the whole system is, they run away from here. But most of us – immigrants – would stay and hope for this American Dream to happen. And I believe it will happen for most of us and the main reason for that is – we’re raised with pain, we’re not afraid to face it. We’re going through a lot to make it here. And that’s the main quality to simply build a real life for oneself. And that life is definitely not pain free. Americans have to wake up. But I’m afraid that there is no pill invented for that yet.



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