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Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Double Standard – Why Are Women Treated Differently?
I had a situation that I wrote about on Facebook, but I want to write more about it, because there is more to it.  So there was a guy, a customer of mine who I had met maybe three times, who&n...

Why Having a Boyfriend Will Not Make You Happy?
When I was a teenage girl (that is one week ago… just kidding), my biggest dream was to have a boyfriend. Especially since a weekly column called “Love Story” from “Bravo&r...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?
What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that ...

Men and Sex
What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (c...

Americans’ Dirty Secret

added: 2018-02-04 , category: Living in NY

It’s a very difficult topic, but since I really want to write about it, I’m now taking a risk. I’ve been living here for almost five years – and if I combined that period with all the other times I visited here before, it would be probably make seven years altogether. I can say a lot about Americans, but one thing that I noticed the most is that… they really don’t like pain. They don’t handle it well. And they avoid it at all cost. None of us likes pain, of course, and we all try to avoid it, but we – especially we kids from Eastern Europe or other poorer countries – had to deal with all kinds of pain even before we grew up. It simply helped us to get ready for an adult life which – as we all know in my part of the world – is filled with pain. Not everything goes according to a perfect plan you created in your head. This is what’s called life.

But what I keep noticing here is that parents do whatever they can to prevent their kids from experiencing pain. And thy do it from their earliest years. Parents don’t want their kids to get hurt. Of course you, as a parent, shouldn’t want your kid to suffer, but it doesn’t mean you should send this kid to a shrink at the age of 5 and give them pills to knock them out so they don’t experience suffering. And this is what parents actually do here. The richer they are, the sooner they send their kids to a psychiatrist. I’m not against psychiatry, but I am against pills. Because the dirty Americans secret is that most of the people here are on something (and I’m not exaggerating). Drugs is one problem (but it’s a problem all over the world, it has nothing to do with big cities anymore), but the prescribed pills is a more serious problem of Americans.

I consider myself naïve, because I always think that people deal with stress or problems the same way I do – they cry a bit, get sad for a few days and then make a plan to shovel the shit out of my way. But no. Whenever you have a problem here and you go to see a doctor, the first thing you’ll hear is if you want to get Xanax or something similar. They will always advise you to take antidepressants. Of course, there are times when you need them, but you can’t prescribe them for everything. My friend broke up with her boyfriend and this is what the doctor wanted to give her right away! Wtf? And these small kids get the same “cure” for everything – another pill. They’re a few years old, for God’s sake! And what’s the result of all of this? It’s helping to grow a weak society. Everyone is really fragile here. Everyone is dealing with something and is depressed. Depression is a serious disease, but not everyone suffers from depression! They didn’t get a job they wanted, their boyfriend broke up with them, they didn’t make as much as they wanted – and they’re depressed right away. It’s a bit horrifying to watch young people acting like they’re on their deathbed because of some minor problem. I swear if they were in my shoes – those of an Eastern European immigrant woman working her ass off –  they would probably commit suicide.

I’m attracted to American guys, because they’re different from guys from my country (the first things that come to my mind is: they’re not drawn in their complexes and are more confident, which I really like, and they’re handsome too, you know – American boy…), but I’m a bit afraid that I would fall for a guy who will end up being weak. Because this is what this society does to guys here – every painful emotion is covered with a pill and this just weakens people. They think it’s natural and they don’t see that they can’t function without it anymore. Every bit of sadness goes with a medicine. I don’t think it’s normal and I’m shocked that society we look to so much is drowning itself in this “pain-free world” they created. The whole health system here sucks, which is why people from richer societies like from Scandinavia, Germany, Australia rarely want to settle here. When they see how bad the whole system is, they run away from here. But most of us – immigrants – would stay and hope for this American Dream to happen. And I believe it will happen for most of us and the main reason for that is – we’re raised with pain, we’re not afraid to face it. We’re going through a lot to make it here. And that’s the main quality to simply build a real life for oneself. And that life is definitely not pain free. Americans have to wake up. But I’m afraid that there is no pill invented for that yet.



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