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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

My Jobs in NY

added: 2018-01-31 , category: Living in NY

I wrote about jobs in New York already – about how I believe that there is no job that you should be ashamed of. Let me tell you about my job experience here in a bit more detail. As soon as I came to NY (four and a half years ago) my first job was a barista in a coffee shop. This was a job I was looking for, because I knew I could get it (not because it was my dream job). I really didn’t want to end up cleaning people’s homes, because I thought it would be embarrassing for me. Now I know it was just stupid of me, because cleaning is a job like any other. Plus – they made very good money, at least $20 an hour, whereas a barista got $8 an hour back then.

Even being barista hurt me a bit at that time – I just got my master’s degree in Film Studies in Poland and here I was – making coffee and serving bagels to people. It really hurt my ego, but after a few months I realized it’s just a job. Plus, I met great people who were coming to our coffee shop just because they wanted to chat with me. Soon, I got bored and I wanted more (of course), so after a year I got a job as a manager in a busy restaurant in Manhattan (without any knowledge of restaurant business). This happened only because someone liked how I treated people in the coffee shop (giving my 100% at work paid off). I thought I was really lucky (and I was) and that that’s  how dreams come true (we had some celebrities coming to our place, including the most important one for me, namely Michael Phelps). I spent over three years there (three years and four months to be precise) and then… I …just quit and came back to a coffee shop.

Why I did it? There are a few reasons. I could say that I wasn’t learning anything new – and that would be true; I could say that I didn’t make enough money for the work I did – and that would be true, too, but the bottom line is (and that’s the main reason) I just didn’t like it. You might think that being a manager at a restaurant is the best job – you have people under you, you’re in charge, you don’t have to do the dirty work… Maybe, but I just didn’t like it. I just dont like restaurant business.  It’s not who I am. I like to interact with people, not to tell them what they should be doing (over and over again). I want to talk to people, help them out, make their life if not easier, then at least a bit happier. And the funny thing was that this was what I was doing in the coffee shop and I though it didn’t mean much. My goal isn’t working in a coffee shop more than a few months (even though I like this place), but I prefer to do this for a while and not to force myself to do something that isn’t even slightly close to what makes me happy. I’m too old for that and I just know better at this point. I will be carefully looking for a new job now and wouldn’t agree to things that are just a waste of not only my time, but my energy.

I want to encourage you to follow your gut, and most importantly – your heart. Don’t agree to things just because you think you have no choice. You would be surprised, but most of the time you really do have a choice. Don’t do things just because you think that this is what is expected from you (by your family, your peers, your friends). I just read this sentence in the book “Outliers” today: “It’s not how much money we make that ultimately makes us happy between nine and five. It’s whether our work fulfills us”. And don’t work just for money, because it really won’t make you happy, I guarantee you that. Fight for your choices. Only you know what’s inside of you and what path you’re on right now. Don’t let others bully you into paths that are not yours. Ultimately, they will bully who you really are. And again – what others think about your choices is not your business. Stay strong and trust yourself. I’m on your side at all times. The question is: are you?



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