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Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

How do I conquer fear?
Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a j...

Step 51- What does it take for you to understand what it’s all about?
I just finished Tim Ferriss’ book, “Tribe of Mentors,” and one of the people featured in his book is a woman named Turia Pitt. I haven’t looked up every p...

Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finall...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
  In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, since I didn’t know what people would think, ...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
  I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yo...

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?

added: 2017-12-06 , category: Living in NY

 

I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yorkers a lot. I got to coffee shops pretty often (by the way, someone should write some kind of analysis about New Yorkers’ coffee choices – it blows my mind what they’re coming up with), and I observe and listen. That’s why it makes me laugh when I see people outside of NY trying to mimic “being a New Yorker.” The major thing they’re trying to do is pretend to be “cool,” which basically means pretending like they don’t care. This feature I find to be the most accurate way to describe a New Yorker. We just really don’t care. And I don’t mean not caring about other people (we surprisingly do care), but not caring at all what others think of us

 


 

It’s especially visible in the outfits we put on. If we feel like putting sneakers on with a nice gown, we do it. If we feel like putting on a purple hat with a pink puffy coat, we just do it. Having an expensive coat will not stop us from pairing it with something cheap or dirty, or something that doesn’t look like a great fit. We want to put it on, and so we will. And that’s something I learned to do here, too. I’m not saying I wear dirty clothes now; I try to look decent or interesting, but my comfort comes first. When I have a day off, I’m dreaming of just putting on jeans and a large sweater (or a hoodie) that will cover everything. A baseball cap seems like a great addition to that outfit (I have to buy one, by the way), especially given that I usually go to a coffee shop. But I also might pair it with heels – why not? I don’t want to feel entirely like a bum. 

 


 

I see tourists, usually young girls (the older ones just wear sports outerwear coming to NY), who just want to be New Yorkers, and it doesn’t matter that they just got here. They usually think that wearing a hat will make them a New Yorker, or buying some fancy bag (and they’re thinking that Michaels Kors is the fanciest they can do) and walking in heels around Manhattan. First of all – if you put on heels, you’d better sit down. Manhattan is not made for walking in anything else but sneakers or UGGs. If you want to wear heels, make sure that someone will give you a ride to your destination, or that you can afford a cab. Remember – don’t walk more than a few blocks. It’s unhealthy. And it doesn’t look cool. Seeing you in this whole armor – a hat, fancy bag and heels – I would know instinctively that you don’t live here, girl. If you want to pretend that you’re a New Yorker, I have some advice – less is more. We love to feel comfortable. If you put a hat on – New Yorkers love hats – pair it with casual jacket (usually leather) and sneakers. If you want to have a fancy bag, don’t buy something that’s obvious or with a big logo on it – New Yorkers don’t like showing off like that. We buy good labels, but the label itself is barely visible. I’ve also noticed one more thing – many girls don’t wear a lot of make up (African-American girls wear a bit more)So don’t look like you just got a Sephora makeover, or you’ll look like you haven’t found your way back home yet after a night out. 

 


My main advice would probably be – don’t try too hard. When you do, you make it clear that you’re not from here. Because yes, New Yorkers are cool. That’s the greatest thing about them. They are cool, and so they let you be cool, too. They let you be whomever you want to be and wear whatever you want to wear at that moment. And this is what I mean by saying that they don’t care. My friend has this great expression that I love: “Don’t be so extra.” And that’s about right – don’t be so extra, girl. When you come to NY, just relax, put on what feels right (comfortable!) to you and chill out. This city is all about the feeling. Feel the city, let it carry you away. Loosen up, take a deep breath and be whomever you truly are, maybe for the first time in your life.



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