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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
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Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

Super Single

added: 2017-10-31 , category: Living in NY

Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com

A few days ago, I first heard the term “super single” and my first thought was – what did they came up with this time…? Apparently, it‘s been used for a while now and I must say that even though I’m not sure about the “super single” term itself, I have to agree with the concept it represents.

I do believe we all are always looking for connection. And I do think that being with someone is better than being on your own (I think that; I’m not sure of it, though, because I’m not experienced in this subject). And even if you say you’re better off by yourself, I believe you wouldn’t mind a reasonable and caring partner next to you. Not just any partner, but a caring one: the one who gets you.

But the thing is – there are singles out there (like myself) who are also fine with the situation they are in right now. Our lives don’t revolve around the thought that “we have to find someone”. It’s on our list, yes, but it’s not our priority. I know that some of you don’t believe me, so I will not try to convince you (but just keep this thought in mind – and I wrote it on Just Like NY a few times already – just because you want something, it doesn’t mean I want it, too).

We’ve been by ourselves for so many years that we learned how to deal with everything. I not only make my own decisions, but also fix (well, call someone to fix) everything in my apartment, deal with all kinds of paperwork, with my job or apartment choices, paying my bills, trapping a stray mouse in my kitchen, repairing water damages in my bathroom, thinking about my business and planning my own future. I learned that everything is up to me. It’s very tiring sometimes (I don’t have someone who would take responsibility for my decisions), but sometimes it’s just amazing – you do what you want to do, you can decide on everything (including moving whenever you want to and spend money the way you want to). We don’t have regrets that we’re by ourselves, because it’s been always like that; we don’t even remember how it is to be with someone. We created our own world where we feel safe and comfortable. I love these moments when I finish work and it’s only up to me if I go to gym, or to the movies, come back home and eat ice cream while watching “Shark Tank”. This freedom is pretty addictive, at least for me. I don’t mind doing these activities with others, but I’m also happy doing them by myself (sometimes I even prefer doing them by myself).

It’s not that we would reject everyone now “because we want to be selfishly single”, but this is how our lives came to pass. I came to NY by myself and focused on surviving – plus I love writing and exploring NY and this is what I’ve been doing with my free time. I don’t go to clubs and get wasted looking for a guy; it’s just not me. I really don’t like online dating either – it’s not for me at all. I meet guys (of course I do! It’s NY!) in different places, online (on Instagram, imagine that!) or on the streets (they simply come up to me, lucky me!). I have these moments when I’m texting with someone – yes, that’s nice, but when they disappear (maybe I don’t try hard enough to keep them?), my life comes back to where it was. I don’t cry that they’re gone; it was fun, but apparently this is how long they were supposed to be in my life (sometimes it’s a few days, a few weeks – or a few months).

I don’t know which way is better: being by myself is the only way I know. I want to be with someone just to see which way I’d prefer more. Maybe having someone’s support would make my life easier. Or maybe not. I will find out when the right man comes. And by the right man, I mean a guy who brings some extra value into my life. If I feel the same with or without him, I’d probably choose to stay by myself. Because it’s how I learned to live and it’s what makes me happy. And my happiness is definitely a priority on my list. 

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