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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Super Single

added: 2017-10-31 , category: Living in NY

Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com

A few days ago, I first heard the term “super single” and my first thought was – what did they came up with this time…? Apparently, it‘s been used for a while now and I must say that even though I’m not sure about the “super single” term itself, I have to agree with the concept it represents.

I do believe we all are always looking for connection. And I do think that being with someone is better than being on your own (I think that; I’m not sure of it, though, because I’m not experienced in this subject). And even if you say you’re better off by yourself, I believe you wouldn’t mind a reasonable and caring partner next to you. Not just any partner, but a caring one: the one who gets you.

But the thing is – there are singles out there (like myself) who are also fine with the situation they are in right now. Our lives don’t revolve around the thought that “we have to find someone”. It’s on our list, yes, but it’s not our priority. I know that some of you don’t believe me, so I will not try to convince you (but just keep this thought in mind – and I wrote it on Just Like NY a few times already – just because you want something, it doesn’t mean I want it, too).

We’ve been by ourselves for so many years that we learned how to deal with everything. I not only make my own decisions, but also fix (well, call someone to fix) everything in my apartment, deal with all kinds of paperwork, with my job or apartment choices, paying my bills, trapping a stray mouse in my kitchen, repairing water damages in my bathroom, thinking about my business and planning my own future. I learned that everything is up to me. It’s very tiring sometimes (I don’t have someone who would take responsibility for my decisions), but sometimes it’s just amazing – you do what you want to do, you can decide on everything (including moving whenever you want to and spend money the way you want to). We don’t have regrets that we’re by ourselves, because it’s been always like that; we don’t even remember how it is to be with someone. We created our own world where we feel safe and comfortable. I love these moments when I finish work and it’s only up to me if I go to gym, or to the movies, come back home and eat ice cream while watching “Shark Tank”. This freedom is pretty addictive, at least for me. I don’t mind doing these activities with others, but I’m also happy doing them by myself (sometimes I even prefer doing them by myself).

It’s not that we would reject everyone now “because we want to be selfishly single”, but this is how our lives came to pass. I came to NY by myself and focused on surviving – plus I love writing and exploring NY and this is what I’ve been doing with my free time. I don’t go to clubs and get wasted looking for a guy; it’s just not me. I really don’t like online dating either – it’s not for me at all. I meet guys (of course I do! It’s NY!) in different places, online (on Instagram, imagine that!) or on the streets (they simply come up to me, lucky me!). I have these moments when I’m texting with someone – yes, that’s nice, but when they disappear (maybe I don’t try hard enough to keep them?), my life comes back to where it was. I don’t cry that they’re gone; it was fun, but apparently this is how long they were supposed to be in my life (sometimes it’s a few days, a few weeks – or a few months).

I don’t know which way is better: being by myself is the only way I know. I want to be with someone just to see which way I’d prefer more. Maybe having someone’s support would make my life easier. Or maybe not. I will find out when the right man comes. And by the right man, I mean a guy who brings some extra value into my life. If I feel the same with or without him, I’d probably choose to stay by myself. Because it’s how I learned to live and it’s what makes me happy. And my happiness is definitely a priority on my list. 

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