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Step 53 - Do You Have A Choice?
I believe I have already written about what I am about to say in this post, but I’ll be coming back to the subject, because it’s really important. I notice more and more often that we ge...

Step 52 - Don’t Assume (Or In Another Words, Don’t Judge)
We’re all guilty of it. We judge. And even if you say or think that you don’t, I have bad news for you – yes, you do. We all classify people based on our knowledge of the...

Stereotypes. Have Enough Class To Not Say Anything
I wrote about stereotypes already, but the longer I live here, the more I see that not much is changing in this matter. Living in NY will help you learn more about other cultures, but it doesn&rsq...

What’s My Health Plan For 2018?
I want to share with you my health plan for this year. I don’t know if it works out. I will be experimenting and see what would work for me – and what would be the results in December 20...

Americans’ Dirty Secret
It’s a very difficult topic, but since I really want to write about it, I’m now taking a risk. I’ve been living here for almost five years – and if I combined that period wit...

My Jobs in NY
I wrote about jobs in New York already – about how I believe that there is no job that you should be ashamed of. Let me tell you about my job experience here in a bit more detail. As soon as...

Why You Shouldn’t Fall In Love Too Quickly
I just watched Matthew Hussey’s new video (I wrote about Matthew already on Just Like NY) and I haven’t been watching any recently, but when I saw this title “Four Dangerous Reason...

Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

How do I conquer fear?
Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a j...

Super Single

added: 2017-10-31 , category: Living in NY

Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com

A few days ago, I first heard the term “super single” and my first thought was – what did they came up with this time…? Apparently, it‘s been used for a while now and I must say that even though I’m not sure about the “super single” term itself, I have to agree with the concept it represents.

I do believe we all are always looking for connection. And I do think that being with someone is better than being on your own (I think that; I’m not sure of it, though, because I’m not experienced in this subject). And even if you say you’re better off by yourself, I believe you wouldn’t mind a reasonable and caring partner next to you. Not just any partner, but a caring one: the one who gets you.

But the thing is – there are singles out there (like myself) who are also fine with the situation they are in right now. Our lives don’t revolve around the thought that “we have to find someone”. It’s on our list, yes, but it’s not our priority. I know that some of you don’t believe me, so I will not try to convince you (but just keep this thought in mind – and I wrote it on Just Like NY a few times already – just because you want something, it doesn’t mean I want it, too).

We’ve been by ourselves for so many years that we learned how to deal with everything. I not only make my own decisions, but also fix (well, call someone to fix) everything in my apartment, deal with all kinds of paperwork, with my job or apartment choices, paying my bills, trapping a stray mouse in my kitchen, repairing water damages in my bathroom, thinking about my business and planning my own future. I learned that everything is up to me. It’s very tiring sometimes (I don’t have someone who would take responsibility for my decisions), but sometimes it’s just amazing – you do what you want to do, you can decide on everything (including moving whenever you want to and spend money the way you want to). We don’t have regrets that we’re by ourselves, because it’s been always like that; we don’t even remember how it is to be with someone. We created our own world where we feel safe and comfortable. I love these moments when I finish work and it’s only up to me if I go to gym, or to the movies, come back home and eat ice cream while watching “Shark Tank”. This freedom is pretty addictive, at least for me. I don’t mind doing these activities with others, but I’m also happy doing them by myself (sometimes I even prefer doing them by myself).

It’s not that we would reject everyone now “because we want to be selfishly single”, but this is how our lives came to pass. I came to NY by myself and focused on surviving – plus I love writing and exploring NY and this is what I’ve been doing with my free time. I don’t go to clubs and get wasted looking for a guy; it’s just not me. I really don’t like online dating either – it’s not for me at all. I meet guys (of course I do! It’s NY!) in different places, online (on Instagram, imagine that!) or on the streets (they simply come up to me, lucky me!). I have these moments when I’m texting with someone – yes, that’s nice, but when they disappear (maybe I don’t try hard enough to keep them?), my life comes back to where it was. I don’t cry that they’re gone; it was fun, but apparently this is how long they were supposed to be in my life (sometimes it’s a few days, a few weeks – or a few months).

I don’t know which way is better: being by myself is the only way I know. I want to be with someone just to see which way I’d prefer more. Maybe having someone’s support would make my life easier. Or maybe not. I will find out when the right man comes. And by the right man, I mean a guy who brings some extra value into my life. If I feel the same with or without him, I’d probably choose to stay by myself. Because it’s how I learned to live and it’s what makes me happy. And my happiness is definitely a priority on my list. 



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