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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

To Be Gay in NY

added: 2014-04-21 , category: Living in NY

I really don’t know how it’s possible that I still haven’t written of gay men in NY. Those who know me even a little realize that I’m a big supporter of gay rights and I protect my gay friends like a mother hen taking care of her chicks (at times I even protect them from themselves). I have many gay friends and I will always shake my head at anyone saying that “those sick people need a treatment”. Those who say so need a treatment themselves, in my opinion.

It’s no secret that NY is a real Mecca of gay culture. Pretty boys in love of other pretty boys are ubiquitous here. When I recently went to a straight bar (which is unusual for me), most guys there turned out to be gay anyway. Few days ago I hang out at a Williamsburg bar famous as a hipster spot, but it seemed to me more like a gay bar. Those who think that a gay man makes effeminate gestures with his wrists and carries a handbag may be right, but only in a small percent of cases. A gay man may well look like that – and there’s nothing wrong with that – but he can also look just like your accountant, your kids’ teacher, a colleague, an uncle, your grandpa – or your sister. There are all kinds of gay men in NY and I’ve seen all of them. Some wear full make-up, some try on high-heels (and then wear them with more grace than many women I know), some wear clothes I never expected any woman to have the guts to wear, and some surprise me when they say they’re gay (which is true of many actors, but also of some guys sitting at bars in gay clubs, looking pretty much like my Polish uncles do).

What is common among most of the gay men in NY is the absolute – sometimes excessive – care they take of their bodies. I already wrote at Just Like NY about men and women in NY, as well as of the great competition at the male-female “relationship market” over here. All this pales next to the competition going on at the gay market. Looks and regular attendance at the gym are every gay man’s top priority here. I don’t hesitate to say that some men here look simply like young gods. I keep seeing hot guys whose perfectly chiseled bodies take my breath away – and I can imagine that it’s difficult to meet such a high standard, especially if one lives in Manhattan (I feel that the competition is less fierce in other boroughs). Sometimes I shake my head in regret, because I know that none of those gorgeous guys will ever be mine. I am a supposed owner of “big pair of balls” (a fact revealed to me recently by a dear gay friend of mine), but still my pair is not nearly sizable enough for the gay hunks I always admire in NY.

If you happen to be a foreign gay guy and you come to New York in hope of “conquering the gay scene” of the Big Apple, I advise you take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and think whether the percent of fat tissue in your body is not a bit too high. A single walk in Hell’s Kitchen on a hot day and what you considered a pretty nice body back in Poland will quickly prove either embarrassingly fat or pitifully scraggly. Boys! If you keep dreaming of beautiful NY guys, sign up for a gym this very second!

Gay Pride Party, June 2013



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