Three ways we make ourselves unhappy
I sincerely do believe that happiness is already present in our lives. In lives of us all. It might exist in smaller or bigger amounts, but it’s there (I’ve recorded a video about it already.)
We have this tendency to say „I just want to be happy” forgetting that we can be happy right now. No one stops you from being happy, except for you.
Do you know what do you do to not to let yourself be happy? There are several things. I spotted three of the most important ones.
The first one, the most significant one, is that you keep coming back to the past. Or what’s worst – you live in the past. You revisit the old days, the old memories, you glorify them, or you beat yourself up for them. You just can’t LET THIS SHIT GO. And that kills you and takes away the whole joy of your life. Why wouldn’t you leave it once and for all? Deal with it and move on. No, I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s necessary if you want to start living a happy life. Face your past. Forgive yourself, forgive people that hurt you. If you can’t do it by yourself, get some help. You have to leave your past in order to enjoy your today. Plus – living in the past is a foundation of depression.
The second thing that you most likely have is a shitty attitude. That means you’re not grateful. Example – how do you welcome a new day? Are you angry on the things like the weather; the fact that you wake up too late; that you have to go to work; that he/she didn’t text you back? Or are you happy that: you have another exciting day in front of you; you can make this day amazing; you can go to work; you’re meeting your friend; you have a date; you can spend the time after work the way you want to? Which attitude is more accurate in your case? Because if it’s the first one – we have a problem, and to be precise – you have a problem. And you won’t be happy. Do you want to have a prosperous life with that shitty attitude? Are you kidding me? Change it. FOCUS ON POSITIVE. And if you say you don’t have positive things in your life, I say that you’re full of shit. Did you wake up and can breathe? Do you have food? Can you walk/work out/ dance? Do you have people you can call when you need them? Dude, that’s enough. You have to start noticing things you take for granted. You have to start being grateful for them. Otherwise, they will be taken away from you.
The third thing is that you refuse to change something about your situation. If you’re „so unhappy”, what did you decide to do about it? What steps have you actually taken to change something in your life? What did you do to make yourself happy? Do you expect that someone will do the work for you? Or maybe, you like the fact that you’re so unhappy? It feels familiar to you, you don’t have to do much, all you can do is complain. That validates your misery. Being unhappy can be a comfort zone too. Yes, it makes you feel like shit, but at least you know it. Why would you go after something you don’t know? Why would you make changes that can be painful? It’s better to stay in your misery-comfort zone and complain about it, isn’t it?
I want you to understand that no one is responsible for you happiness – neither your partner, nor your kids, your boss, your parents – no one, except for you. And you can be happy today, but you have to get over yourself. Being unhappy is nothing else than being obsessed with yourself and „your problems”. To change it, you have to be able to acknowledge these little things, and you have to appreciate them. Remember – don’t take anything for granted. And stop your misery, it doesn’t serve you, and it definitely doesn’t serve anyone around you.