What is your non-negotiable?
I was listening to one of Lisa’s Nichols interviews some time ago, and she was talking about relationships. When she was asked: „How do you know if this is the one?”, she answered: „It’s when you would want to be with him, even if he doesn’t change”. And it blew my mind then.
We do get into relationships and there often times when we want to change our partner, or we want him to change something. And sometimes we even say: „I hope he will change” rolling our eyes. I heard women saying: „He has to change it, otherwise I can’t imagine living with him”. And here comes the question: „What if he doesn’t change it?” Do you even consider that? You are with this guy, sometimes you even marry him and you wait for him to change. But what would you do, if that doesn’t happen? Are you ok with him being who he is right now? Would you like to stay with him, live with him, build your life with him, if he doesn’t change?
He might change (I genuinely believe that people change if they want to), but he might also not change. Do you love him enough to stay with him?
I’m writing about it, because if you don’t know or if you know that you can’t, are you sure it’s the right partner for you?
No one is perfect. I haven’t met a perfect person yet, and I’m sure I won’t. We all have our flaws. Your partner probably want you to change something too. What I’ve noticed is that guys are most likely to accept our flaws than we are able to accept theirs. Maybe it’s because women are usually more critical towards themselves and we often don’t accept ourselves.
Guys usually hope for some changes in us, but they’re most likely to be fine, if that doesn’t happen. We women get furious. That’s why I’m writing about it. It would be easier, if we were just more honest with ourselves. And I come back to my last post about guys – set your standards and stand by them. Don’t pretend that something doesn’t bother you; don’t pretend you are fine with something, if you are not. Don’t find excuses for your guy and for your needs.
We all have our
I can’t express enough how important it is
*bag by @ycyingchu (check him on Instagram)