I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It didn’t change in men, it changed in me. I still like men (oh, some of them are just gorgeous – physically, of course) but I stopped glorifying them like I used to. I think that most women are guilty of that. We somehow think that if we’re not with someone that there is something wrong with us, and we put our life on hold until we meet “him.” Every action we take goes toward “meeting a guy,” every dream revolves around “when we’re together.” Think about it. Why do you think your life is incomplete without a guy? What do you think he’ll give you that you don’t have?
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that being with a great man who understands you can have great value in your life. I wouldn’t mind being with someone who gets me, who truly understands who I am and what I am going for. It would be amazing to meet someone like that!
But I wouldn’t overestimate the amazingness of men in general. Yes, I like them, I desire them and I like talking to them. It’s great to get a different point of view (we really do think differently), plus they usually have these cool interests (like all tech stuff, fixing bikes or building something in their garage) that I have no idea about. That’s why I have and have always had so many male friends. I think I do understand them, or at least I really try to. But there is also another side of men that has made me stopped glorifying them.
For one thing, there’s the fact that sometimes their relationship status doesn’t mean that much to them. I’m not on any online dating (read: sex) apps, but I have been on two occasions. I spent a short period of time on them, but it was long enough to meet married guys who were looking for sex. Friends of mine had similar experiences. I met guys whose relationship status is “taken,” yet they’re still scrolling through Tinder or having a drink with a woman who is not their partner. I see guys who have dates three times a week, each time with a different woman, and they are in a relationship at the same time! I’ve been grabbed and kissed by a married man in a bar (who invited me to his friend’s nearby apartment five minutes before that). I’ve encountered guys in relationships and engaged men who wanted to touch me and flirt with me, and I knew it would only take a “yes” from me to have sex. For the record, single guys hit on me as well, but I’ve mentioned the ones in relationships because it is so common that it blows my mind. And it’s not only in NY. My friend (a straight guy) who is a bartender said to me the other day, “I listen to these guys, to what they’re talking about and I really feel sorry for you ladies.”
So because I see what guys are doing, I stopped thinking that my life is even an inch worse because I’m single. The scary part is that I started thinking that it’s even better. Before I hear the whole chorus of men (and women) saying that I don’t like men (oh, how I wish I didn’t) and that women are the same, let me tell you one thing – I haven’t met even one guy who thinks that his life is incomplete because he’s single. I’ve also never met a guy who’s afraid he won’t ever find anyone because men are pretty damn sure they will (and I believe them!) And yet all women are so scared that they’ll end up alone! Maybe that’s why I prefer younger guys – most of them are just not aware of this whole “game,” and it’s just so refreshing. Until someone shows them the rules, and then they will be lost, too.
What I’m trying to say, ladies is that men are living their lives like there’s no tomorrow, and I would recommend that you do the same. (I’m talking to single girls, not married ones who want to cheat – I would never encourage cheating, and one of the reasons for that is that I believe in karma.) STOP putting your life on hold just because you’re single at the moment. Live your life, take advantage of whatever there is out there (don’t go after married guys, though – they don’t even deserve it) and have fun. And most importantly, believe that your life is already complete, regardless of your relationship status. You make it complete. A man will just put that extra smile on your face. And your life will be still amazing, even if he’s gone.