Guys and Their Penises
I wasn’t planning on writing about it, but hey, you guys left me no choice! I wanted online dating, so here it is. There was in fact not that much actual dating, but there are other things to talk about. Even when you try to make something more serious out of it, they just don’t let you. I just met a guy, it was our first conversation. I said to him that he looked like a guy who knew what he wanted, and he clearly proved me right by responding: “Do you want to hook up tonight?”. Could one be more direct than that…? Hm…in a second I’ll prove that… surprisingly yes, one could.
There is something about guys and their penises. One of my friends once said: “To be honest with you, we, straight guys love our penises and all we want to do is to show it to everyone”. And you know what? I believe him now. It’s truly amazing – as soon as you start texting with a guy, you should send him a warning: Please don’t send me a dick pic (I wrote about it already on Just Like NY). He would say: “I’d never”, and he might even not send you one. Great, right? But hey, it’s 2017, so we’ll get a video instead. Yeah, you heard me right – a dick video. The great thing about it is, you’d be laughing like crazy and laughing is good for you. If there are straight guys reading this, let me tell you one thing – you might want to sit down first – your penis doesn’t impress us. It’s not the thing that turns us on. We don’t care (unless it’s really small). I’m speaking on behalf of most of the women (it’s different with gay men: they love dicks, so maybe you should be sending them your pics, I guarantee they will go crazy!). So get over it. Work on your muscles instead – and send us a pic of your muscular body.
I think I’m done with online dating for now – and it’s not because I don’t believe in it, or because I don’t want to watch any videos (there is no dialogue, but the cinematography is not bad overall). It’s because it is really time-consuming and that’s why I didn’t even want to get involved in that in the first place. You have to go through too many guys before you meet someone who is actually worth your time. The chances that you both swipe at the same time and that he would notice that you started the conversation are just too small as for me to spend my time on it. I just get bored so easily… and I got bored with that after two weeks. And yes, in order to be with someone, you need to put in some work, but you know what…? Maybe it’s not my time yet. Swiping left and right might be fun (and turns out you might get some fun on a date, too), but I prefer to walk around Manhattan and wave and smile to guys. And I think that the odds that I’d spot someone interesting are the same as they’re for meeting someone online, or maybe even bigger. I just prefer personal contact over social media and I am not afraid of guys anymore, but if you’re too shy, probably the app is the best solution for you. It’s not cut out for my type of personality. I shine better on the streets than on the phone screens (and this is what I heard from a guy on a date I got through this app). After 3 weeks of not using it much, I had one date – and I can tell you this date was worth downloading the app. So the choice is yours, but I think it’s good to have some fun from time to time.
