I and a couple of friends have been chatting recently at a bar and we all started gossiping about a guy we see there often. He’s a cute, thirtyish, innocently looking American guy who keeps bringing to the place newer and newer girls. We saw him a few times with the same woman (they were tenderly hugging), which meant unfortunately that the girl didn’t know yet that she was being played for a sucker. On the occasions the guy comes alone, he keeps texting, which means that soon we will see him with his newest trophy. We all agreed that he must be using a dating app, for their popularity in New York is at its zenith nowadays. I said he was probably on Tinder, the most popular of the apps (it finds people near you: one click and you can meet within minutes). As we were talking, we were joined by a young guy (about 22 years old) who has listened to us from the side so far: “He may be using a couple apps at once. Maybe he’s on Bumble.”
Me: On what…?
Him: Well, that’s this app where the girls are picking the guys.
Me: Now I see why I haven’t heard of it…
Him: But it’s great! The girl decides if she wants to meet with a guy. The app connects us first and then it’s the girl who has 24 hours to decide if she wants to meet up. I love it since it takes the pressure off the guy. You know that when she says “yes”, she really means it since she had so many other guys to choose from and she actually chose you. She did not click on your profile by chance, which means she really finds you attractive! It’s brilliant!
Hmm, I thought: so now the guys not only have the chance to date a new girl every day, but they no longer need to feel the pressure of rejection. Yeah, I forgot: the ego has to be both fed and sheltered at the same time.
My new friend suddenly handed his phone to one of my companions and said: “Take a picture of me”, after which he stood up next to me, leaned his head towards mine, which made me stunned and amused at the same time. My equally stunned friend took our picture. It wasn’t a bad pic (by that I mean I came out good, I didn’t even look at his face) and the guy said: “Ha! I’m gonna show them with this pic! I have a new profile pic!”. I didn’t want to disappoint him by telling him that miracles may not happen after he puts up the picture, so I only smiled and wished him good luck.
So far, I am not too keen on using apps for one major reason: they are time-consuming, and given the wide variety of choice New York guys have every day, the chance things will go any differently than was the case with the guy I described at the beginning of this post are at best minimal.
But maybe one day, who knows…