Ocean of small fry
I don’t agree that internet dating is necessarily a sign of desperation, as is still believed by many. Nowadays, when we basically live hooked up to the internet, no one should be shocked that we also meet one another online. I decided to try it, too, because… why not? There’s a multitude of dating websites in the US; the one that was recommended to me is called Plenty of Fish (since it wasn’t marriage that I was after). The website lives up to its name, in that it definitely confirms that there is plenty of fish in the ocean called New York City, but – which I have discovered only gradually – most of it is a small fry. I used Plenty for a couple of months and here are some observations I made while using the portal:
1. You actually can find whom you are looking for on the website. Do you want to have sex? There it is. You are looking for a Romantic soul who is going to write you miles of poetry – he will turn up. Are you looking for a guy with similar experiences to yours? He’s waiting there, too.
2. Even the most fascinating description won’t help, though, if someone is not physically attractive in your eyes, which only goes to confirm the rule that appearances do matter.
3. If someone uploads several pictures of themselves, each showing them look in a different way, it usually means that you do not see the most recent picture – and that the guy is most likely older and heavier tha he would like to admit.
4. If someone does not upload a picture at all, it usually means the same thing I have just described, or the guy simply doesn’t want to be recognized by the friends of his girlfriend or wife. It’s a safe bet the situation is the same if the guy you have just met online gives you his phone number right away and quickly deletes all his pictures (btw, they are not usually headshots). No, it doesn’t mean that he suddenly realized the pictures are not very good. It means that his bait worked and he hopes to reel the fish in, without leaving any evidence.
And this was probably my saddest discovery, which technically shouldn’t surprise me so much, but it did. Dating websites, and at least Plenty, are full of husbands and guys who are far from single. They seek a passing diversion, but they lack the courage to really change their situation. Personally, I find it revolting, and I don’t find any excuse for schmucks like that.
Still, I do believe that with some luck you can find the person you are looking for and… swim together to the place you both want to be.
Plenty of Fish is one of the most “neutral” portals. If you are in fact looking for a lifelong match, it’s supposedly better to check out match.com or okcupid.com. Good luck!
If you have similiar experiences and you wanna share I’d more than happy to read about it.